Mother in law messed things up

To make a long story short, my dad and I are no longer on speaking terms. Because he was in regular communication with my husband‘ s mom, we told her to please block him and do not leak information to him. She was curious to know what happened but because it’s over 30 years of history there, I didn’t think it was her place to know why. I know it’s not the norm to cut of family members, but she should trust my judgment that he is too toxic for my wellbeing (I’m pregnant). She pressed the issue of reconciliation on my birthday of all days, not knowing the full story. In her mind, the only unforgivable act is molestation, “everything else can be worked out” she does not know he is emotionally, and financially abusive (he is wealthy and uses money to control) and that he once beat me up for refusing to date/marry his friend’s son.

Anyway, my husband had a talk with her to once again stay out of it and stop meddling. She agreed but somehow she recently picked up my dad’s phone call. Ofcourse he was able to spin a sob story that she fell for. In the end she did more damage than good. Where my dad was starting to doubt his bad behavior, my mother in law renewed his flawed reasonings and convictions and now an apology from him is very unlikely. I’m so angry and devastated that she meddled after we told her not to say anything many times. Somehow he also came to find out the name and gender of our baby (she swears it wasn’t her but I don’t know)

I’m floored that she’s jeopardize her position as the top grandparent for someone she hardly knows (my dad) if she only knew the cruel man he truly is, she wouldn’t be singing his praises. Her son (my husband) rarely sends photos/videos of our little one. It’s mostly me as the mom. We are in regular communication and I’m her lifeline to the baby. Now I don’t trust her and I don’t even want to communicate with her for a long time.

Would it be extreme to ban her from the birth of baby #2? I just can’t even imagine seeing her right now and I understand there was no malice but if she had listened to my original request, we wouldn’t be in the position we’re in now (with my dad now refusing to apologize)