Am I being petty?

Be honest. Trust me I can take it.

Daughter just turned 2. Her dad's family did not come except his aunt and cousin. My mother & his aunt were chatting. Fine. She tells me today they exchanged numbers. I let her know his family is messy BECAUSE THEY ARE but I also didn't want to come off rude so I said nothing else.

Little history, my mother and my first child's father exchanged numbers once before and that was fine with me except they talked everyday damn near all day to the point it was borderline flirting. He and I were in a complicated place relationship wise and I eventually had to ask her to cut all contact. My daughter's father and I are not together and he is now married but with what happened in the past and the fact that he doesn't see his daughter nor has she actually been around his side of the family, I don't see why they would need to talk anyway. TO ADD: my concern is that my mother tends to dig for things instead of minding her business and she us the type of peron who can't stand being called out on something and she'll attempt to flip the script or attempt to make you feel wrong for telling her she was wrong. I love my mommy I really do but that doesn't negate how she is and also how my daughter's father is. He has mentioned inappropriate things to me about my mother (that he finds her attractive, that he likes older women-his wife is 16 years his senior-, and that he pretty much hates he met me before having chance to meet my mom-though my mother has been in a committed relationship). So them talking could or could not lead to him ending up with my mother's number or vice versa but I don't put it past his aunt. My number has been floated around his family without my consent and I just don't like it.

Am I wrong in being curious as to why his aunt wanted to exchange numbers? She doesn't live in the same state. She lives a solid 4day drive away. Literally. No one really has a consistent relationship with my daughter except my mother and that is still so minimal but we too live out of the city but same state. I just don't want any drama and I know eventually he will some how end up with her number and I don't want the "oh I have your Mother's number" or her "I'll help the two of you figure this out"... When really it's hey I'm going to be all up in your business.

So. Be honest. Is this petty of me? I don't feel petty. I just don't want any drama in any fashion.

Krysten: Yes. I sure did. At the same time I mentioned how messy his family is and why I have been keeping my contact with them very short. Her response was "Well I will choose for myself"...True. she can but I want no parts if anything like the past happens again or if his family thinks they can use my mom to spy on me

Jessica: That is a good question but for example when his parents were in town visiting my daughter and whatever we discuss about me they'd then tell him or report back to him and he'd question me about who's around his daughter or why did I do certain things instead of this or that. Or attempting to tell me what I can or can't do. That's why I say spy because his history shows he doesn't want to be around but wants to still be informed somehow and as far as my mom...She's gotten a little too close for comfort in the past so when she told me she & his aunt exchanged numbers my mind went straight to him (my daughter's father). I could be totally wrong here but this has happened before in a very similar order.

Honest: I never said I went back and asked why they exchanged numbers. To be clear she when said they exchanged numbers I informed her of how messy his family is but truthfully she already knew because I tell her quite a bit about them (when there's an issue. I don't trust my mom to have my back. Not that I think they'd start drama or she'd start drama, I mom won't have my back. And, I am curious as to why his aunt wanted to exchange numbers. Not sure about your saying "If they gossip to you..." but okay. Unless my message was not clear, I simply just don't want any drama and I don't want my support system to be involved in his family's b.s. I'm not being nosey or saying they can't talk. All I want is peace and to raise my child. And again, I did mention I could be absolutely wrong about all of this. Just based on the past and the order of similar events. I don't like it.