Did I do something wrong

Question

Everyone I'm in tears, my mom has never made me feel more shameful for such a small act.😔 
What happened was that tonight for the first time ever I asked a cute guy for his number (im 16 and he looked the same age) and I was more proud of myself for being that brave and doing it rather than the guy (because he's in LA temporarily) so i was happy because I was proud of myself. Also since his friend was there watching us and I was shaking and nervous.
Then when I got home my little sister ratted me out to my mom but I thought it wasnt a big deal because I dont do stuff like that often
My. Mom. Flipped. 
She's 34 and had me at 17, keep that in mind people. And she started yelling and arguing at how stupid i was and that I embarrassed myself like a dumbass and the guy was thinking what the f* is wrong with this girl and she kept arguing like I EXPECT you to be better than this why did you put yourself to such a low level and Im like "mom this happens all the time, even in (our home country) and Ive seen it happen plus nothing happened out of it so its not a big deal. 
But no. She made it a big deal. She acted like I just had sex and eloped with a drunk. she was furious and kept yelling. 
Then i told her "im not saying its your fault but you never talk to me about these things or anything. Right when we drive home everyday you start calling people. no "hi emmy how was school, tell me what happened, maybe you shouldve reacted this way instead when you did that, it couldve been better" etc and shes like "NO I expect you to know better" and i said "how can you expect if you MY MOTHER doesnt teach me" and she said "you have school" and i argued IS SCHOOL THE SAME AS MY MOTHER
Im really hurt everybody and dont know if I really did something stupid. I dont regret it because I felt brave and nothing bad came out of the situation before my sister snitched. Please help

Accepted Answer

Whatttt?? It was a phone number, it's not like you were sneaking out or something! Naw, I don't think it was wrong of you to do. Sorry to hear that was her reaction.

Answer

There’s really nothing wrong with it. She’s overreacting because she’s deflecting the shame she feels about her younger self onto you. It seems like she cares and just doesn’t know how to show that in a healthy way on this topic. I know at your age it’s hard to just let things go (at least it was for me) but she’ll be easier to deal with if you just let her vent and yell and just say “okay mom.” Maybe when she calms down or when you get older, you can revisit these conversations and maybe she’ll understand how she reacted was wrong.

Answer

She acted like, she caught you In bed with him 😩 There is nothing wrong, she overreacted. Badly.

Answer

That sounds like it reflects her personal issues instead of anything you did. I asked my first boyfriend out 😉.

Answer

GIRL MY MOM IS THE SAME EXACT WAYYY, although I’m 15 gonna turn 16 in October, my mom had me at 17 when I believe my dad was 15  or barely turned 16 and I’ve been dating this guy for a year & 4 months now and she will NOT let me go anywhere with him I insist on her coming too because we have no bad intentions, we don’t sneak out or anything but all she says is no and yells at me & stuff but yet she doesn’t talk to me about anything, she’s always out with her boyfriend (my parents divorced when I was like 8) I don’t get to see her very much, I have so many opportunities to just tell my boyfriend to come over if I wanted to but I wouldn’t want to lose her trust or anything yet she says I’m untrustworthy, like I’m not trying to make the same mistake as her due to the fact that she complains so much about having me, she always makes me feel like I’m in the wrong.

Answer

I pressed the wrong answer in the poll by accident!! You did absolutely nothing wrong and if your mom wants to act ignorant…let her 🤷🏽‍♀️ Just ignore her

Answer

Good grief! She sounds extremely over-protective at best! You’re completely innocent! Even if she knows something related to this, she should TELL you, not expect you to find out somewhere and somehow—that type of thinking can be dangerous. (I’ve never understood the parents who tell their kids about stuff AFTER they need to know about it)
But, no. From what you’ve told us, you did nothing wrong.

Answer

Your mom needs her mental health evaluated. You did nothing wrong.

Answer

Your mom and I are the same age and I can't help feeling envy that she has two beautiful daughters and doesn't realize the blessings she has. I've read some of your other post and I really feel for you. There is nothing wrong with what you did you took initiative and in doing so will build up your self confidence. Maybe she's worried you will end up like her given the age you are now is around the age she would have ended up pregnant with you.

Answer

Believe me when I say this because my mother was the exact same way with me. Your mother is probably a narcissist! Google it and if you notice the same traits than I am right about this. I say this because I have many similar stories with my mother who had me at 16 yrs old and was a young mom as well. She was super controlling yet acted loving and caring and like she was just looking out for me or worried that I would end up like her and pregnant young. I literally didn't date till I was 19 and didn't lose my virginity till almost 20 yrs old with a guy that I am still with and I am 35 yrs old now so have only been with him but my mother flipped her shit and put me down and called me a slut and wore when she read a private letter my bf wrote that she found snooping  through my purse. She cussed him put over the phone and kicked me out of the house too but when I left she hunted me down and smacked me in the face. Till this day she defends the way she acted as she was just a worries mother and cared too much about my safety. That was just one thing but there were so many times she would manipulate or put me down and than at the same time be loving and kind it really messed with my head and I made excuses for her because I thought she was coming from a good place but with narcissist it's all about control, and because she seen you were excited and confidant about something and she didn't give you that confidante herself, you got it from somewhere else, she can't stand it and it made her mad. Sadly I had to cut my mom off a few years ago but that was because her issues got waaaay worse after she got addicted to pain meds about 10 years ago. I hope things get better for you.

Did I do something wrong

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