Boundaries??

Question

How often do you guys go through your s.o’s phone if at all? My boyfriend is constantly going through mine while I’m asleep. I’m not hiding anything but it’s annoying that he wouldn’t trust me. I’ve gone through his once. He’s definitely a double standards guy. But I don’t do it because I know if I go looking for something to upset me the smallest thing will bother me! So why is he constantly in my phone?? Advice??

Answer

Sounds like he's got trust issues.  But if you haven't given him reason for that, then he shouldn't pull this, "I can look through your phone, but you can't look through mine" reasoning.
There's no room for double standards in a relationship.

Answer

Find someone else.

Answer

I've only gone through one person's phone ever, my last ex, because he lied to me about everything and I used what I saw in there to prompt him to lie to me again so I could leave and not look back. 
He always said I was welcome to look at his phone at any time, but the only time I wanted to was that last day.
I hated it, I don't think I should violate anyone's privacy like that, including the people who they are messaging who think their conversation is private. 
I understand there are dire circumstances where snooping might be the better thing to do, but that's very rare.
Just being paranoid and insecure are not good enough reasons to violate boundaries that should exist or not allow your partner privacy. 
It's not acceptable.
But I understand if you are very clearly being lied to and manipulated about something serious like being cheated on, dating a criminal or your partner might be on drugs behind your back, checking when things are getting out if hand and it's obvious they are hiding stuff.

Answer

Um, I’ve never gone through my husband’s phone, and I’m fairly sure he’s never looked through mine. Have people always been this distrustful in their relationships? I see these issues all the time in the message boards. I feel really out of touch and old...

Answer

Red flag! You are entitled to your privacy. This for me would be a big fat no. When I’m in a relationship, I am loyal and there’s nothing that I’m going to do to break the trust. If my partner can’t understand that or believe it, that’s his problem, not mine. You don’t deserve to get treated like a suspect of some sort. If you are not doing anything wrong, then you deserve to be trusted by the person who loves you. A person who goes through your phone without your permission is not respecting your boundaries and is not trusting you. It’s a warning sign for power and control issues that can lead to abuse.

Answer

NEVER been through my SO's anything

Answer

Never.  You need to find someone else because relationships are based on trust.  If he doesn't trust you then he needs to find somebody else. I think that anyone who goes through there so's phone shouldn't be with that person.

Answer

Id put a passcode on my phone. If he isn’t paying the bill he can do one. You have as much right to privacy like he does, if you can’t look thru his, he can’t look thru yours. Sounds like he’s upto something and wants to find something on yours so he doesn’t feel as bad for doing whatever he does

Answer

My husband and I have full access to each others accounts and phones. Never once have either of us snooped. 🤷‍♀️

Answer

He’s going through your phone because he doesn’t trust you, so I would advise finding someone who trusts you when you give them no reason to think otherwise. My boyfriend and I go on each other’s phones during the day while we’re sitting with each other to go on Facebook, instagram, or the different apps we have, but never looking for things

Boundaries??

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