Pregnant and want not excited

Maria

Back story:I have diagnosed severe depression and anxiety and have been trying for a baby for almost a year. Well January we split to work on ourselves and better ourselves so we can gave a stronger relation and be better parents. February we ended up conceiving fast forward to now I am 10 weeks 3d along. But lately we fight more and I notice he hasn't really been working on himself. Its sucking the excitement out of this pregnancy and it feels like things would be better all around if the baby weren't here. Dont get me wrong we've worked so hard and I love the baby already would never dream of abortion but I dont feel good! I feel like I'm going to end up a single mom (which there is nothing wrong with) but I want my baby to be happy and it seems like that isn't going to possible. I know this could all be post partum depression but lately I dont even want to be alive. But I know im cant do anything because of this baby! I'm so confused and dont know if it's just baby blues or what but I need help..

P.S I've reached out to restart therapy and am already on antidepressants/antianxiety meds

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