TTC VENT

Posting this a few places to help get some advice and comfort..

I just need to vent.

I got off the pill mid February as my boyfriend and I agreed we would start taking steps into trying to have a baby. So went started using condoms, then pulling out. Then I swear the day right before my period started this month he decided he wanted to finish in me.

Whatever.

And now my period is 10 days late.

He is very very aware of how ready I am to have a baby.

Hes scared of change, but he wants a baby too.

Hes been all giddy and excited thinking in pregnant and talking to my belly even though I've told him several times he needs to knock it off. It's a tease for me, and really actually hurts.

Then even with all that being said, I took my first pregnancy test

Negative.

He swears its wrong.

So I took another one the next day. Negative.

Then the next time we went to have sex, he put on a condom. And it totally killed my mood. I mentioned it the next day when he got all excited again about me MAYBE being pregnant. Even though I've explained several times I'mnot. And I've told him several times he needs to knock it off because hes sending mixed signals.

I wasnt stressing it at all before because I know my hormones are probably acting all weird (even though this will be my 3rd period since being off the pill)

I didn't stress all the way up until I took my 3rd test and it came back negative (2 days ago).

I was really hoping I was at that point so I could be excited with him and not mad at him.

Plus now I know he bounced further away from TTC because of a "scare".

And here it is, the 10th day. Negative again.

So I called my Dr. And I'm waiting for a call back from the nurse. To even see if I should make an appointment for a blood test or wait it out longer for my period.

(I have shitty insurance.)

But in all of this, I just feel very alone and want to cry. I'm so stressed out. And feel like I cant speak about how i feel to anyone 😪