Whenever women post on here about their man leaving them, they always include the kids. For example they’ll say, “my boyfriend left me and I’m pregnant with his child” or “my bf left me and we have three kids”. Can’t a man just not want to be in a relationship with the woman but still want to be a father to his child? But as soon as the man leaves the woman she starts plotting and planning ways to keep the child(ren) away from him. I don’t understand this. This man was obviously okay enough or likable enough to make a baby with but as soon as he doesn’t want to be with the woman, he’s scum and can’t be trusted but if he’s with you it’s all good.

Ladies please stop weaponizing your children. Just because he leaves you doesn’t make him a horrible person and the only reason you’re keeping the child from him is because he hurt you by leaving you. Using your children to get back at him is just wrong on so many different levels. He can still be a great father even if he’s not with you.

You’re hurting the child 👶. If the father desires to be in his child’s life but you refuse because he dumped you, you’re not just hurting the man. How is that child going to feel knowing that he/she could’ve had a relationship with their father and that their father wanted them in his life but that you refused out of simple spite?

Some men don’t have the money to go to court or fight a long custody battle but they can still make a good dad to that child.

I have a friend whose ex tried keeping him from his kids because she was mad at him for breaking up with her. They were arguing a lot; they’d break up get back together multiple times over the five years they were together. He said he got sick of it and didn’t want to go through that cycle the rest of his life so he broke up with her for the last time. She refused to let him see their kids unless it was at her house. He’d ask to pick them up, she’d refuse. Mind you, she never once complained that he was a bad dad and didn’t take care of his kids while they were a couple. He only became a bad dad after he broke off the relationship with her. Thankfully he found an Advocate and was able to take her to court and get joint legal and physical custody of his children. The court didn’t see him as a bad dad. It would’ve been nice if his ex wasn’t so blinded by her anger at being dumped.

Parents need to be able to put the best interests of child before their own hurt feelings. If your bf/DH was acceptable enough for you to be in a relationship with and good enough to get pregnant by, he’s still that same person after you breakup. Ask yourself if you really want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you. Do you just want to keep the man around if the relationship is bad? Should he only stay for the kids?....answer: no.

NOTE: I’m not talking about men who are terrible fathers, drug addicts, repeat felons and convicts. I’m talking about regular men who the woman would still be in a relationship with the man if he hadn’t ended it.