Advice??

***UPDATE***

I left my husband. The next day, my friend calls me... Guess who be hitting her up? And then again Monday... Guess I had more feelings for him than he did for me. And now I'm past feeling sad for leaving him. Now I'm angry I didn't do it sooner.

This might be a long post, so I apologize. Let's start from the beginning. I'm a recovering addict. My drug of choice, heroine. I met someone 8 years ago, he helped me get clean. I enjoyed having someone there. But something that too me a long time to realize, was that I enjoyed having a new addiction. I wanted affection, love, and support. But since the beginning, when we would fight, we would say mean things to reach other. "You're a slut, well you're a lonely bastard." "You don't even know how many people you've been with why do I want my dick in you, at least I'm not a jobless bum" as the years progressed, the fights became more insulting. We have also become distant. He calls me childish, but I feel he loves his dog more than me. When I try to tell him how I feel, we just break out into a yelling spree, get off topic and bam, another fight on top of that. I just feel like his dog had more priority. He tells me that he has never had a dog from a puppy and that yes he loves her. But damn dude I know that feeling. I have a dog that I got from before we meet, she was a puppy. But I don't have to kick her if the bed to have sex. She knows personal space. His dog is always right there. I don't even cuddle with him because she cries with me sitting next to him, on the bed she went sleep anywhere unless it's between us. I just feel like I'm not a priority. Then there's my son, I had him before my SO and I met. He's been good to him, teaches him and stuff.. but since we got together and after the drugs, I wanted my son to live with me. We have always had a bed and spare room, but I feel like, if he really did feel like he was his son.. wouldn't he help me move him into my home. The excuse, he's comfortable where he's at, your parents won't let him go, we can barely take care of ourselves we can't have a child. So I've not been pregnant. I've spoke to my parents, they don't keep my son from me. He's always been told go stay with Mom. He's even told me, no one will love you, your parents were happy to get rid of you. And always, if I have a new friend on Facebook or any guy I know, did you have sex? For example, I said we needed friends, well he made friends with a girl and her BF, when I finally figured it who this guy was, I told him I needed to tell him something so not to start a fight, that we knew each other from drugs and I've slept with him.. will there fight still started. You know, I'm trying to move past the past, let me just forget that it ever happened move on with me.. he don't. Then I'm the bad guy because I hold onto this feelings. The feeling worthless, marriage of pity, disgusting. When we have sex, I can't get off, and most times he closes his eyes and cums too early and I'm left with that sucks. Or, he doesn't get off at all.. I've wanted to go back to school, my dad even offered to help me pay for it if I can't find scholarships, I'm 29. I'm young I can still do it. I'm smart, I like school, I can do it.. no we can't borrow money from your parents I promise this year we can enroll you.. well it's been years.. still not in school. I've wanted to move from my town, I know too many people that I've used with, had sex with, all that... We can't just up and leave. Ok, we can't.. but we can try. We can find jobs and tell them hey let me find a place and I can start this date.. it's possible, anything is possible if you try... Well, I'm still here. He gets home before me, he had days off during the week I don't. He can pay bills, clean it something.. most times my house goes two weeks so that when I have my days off I can clean. I'm so unhappy, everyone says, it's what you want.. well duh, but can't sometime just say enough is enough. Can't someone tell me, is ok to feel this way, if you want to leave we support your decision. Would any of you say it's enough, or continue hoping that next year is different, not even a few days goes by without fighting. I can't go to my mom's to see my son without being called within 20 minutes and being asked where are you when will you be home, an I just going to eat by myself. Well.. I just got off work, takes 20 minutes from work to my mom's.. I literally just got here, can't I spend some time here. Please.. no hate, if you can't say what you want nicely, I don't want to know. But if any of you have any advice or words of encouragement, please I'd like to know what you have to say.. thank you for reading