What’s wrong with me?

So.. stupid thing to talk about but I need to vent. So my husband of 5 years & I have no kids together. He has one kid from a previous “relationship”. We never used to get along (bc she’s been so bitter & hateful about us having a successful relationship that she couldn’t break up) but as time passed, we put out differences aside & lived our lives. We’re not the best of friends or anything but we don’t go back & forth with each other anymore (She just recently stopped “throw shots” at me on social media a few months ago). But I’ve noticed she’s been competing with me when it came to trying to conceive. When I talk about having baby fever, she starts to say how she wants a baby (which she could just have baby fever, nothing to do with me). But last month, she mad a smart comment about how my husband have a wife but only fathers her kid & how she’s the only “baby mama” he have. I disregarded it, saying to myself that god will give me one when he’s ready. Well.. she finally was able to conceive her baby.... and here I am, getting turned away by one of the best gynos/fertility specialists in my area. I feel so stupid for being so hurt, but I am. It’s not that I’m sad because she’s having a baby, because this shouldn’t be a competition. I’m just hurt that I still have to wait & pray for a baby of my own. Now when I do (if I ever) conceive, she’s going to be an asshole & tell people I only wanted to get pregnant because she did. Which I know I shouldn’t worry about silly things like that, but I can’t help but wonder why me? I know there’s a reason God is not giving me a baby after all these years.. I just don’t know exactly what that reason is. I wish he’d just write it in bold letters in a dream or something & just TELL ME.