Is it wrong?

Question

I have been in a relationship with my partner for 8 years. Something always holds me back when it comes to marriage. 
Anyway, for the most part hes a decent guy. We have 3 kids together. My issue is his anger. Its never escalted to abuse but he will freak out at certain things that are absolutly ridiculous. He has soluch a loud voice. 
Long story short do you think im in the wrong to give him an ultimatium. I have asked him to change his anger issue. We have almost broke up like 4 times because i dont like the way he handles certain situations. 
He has made small changes, but still loses it over small things.
Anways this is my ultimatium.
Seek counselling, ask for help. Or we do a trial seperation do work on ourselves before we recconect?

Answer

It sounds like he is a ticking time bomb. It’s only a certain amount of time until he starts putting hands on you. He needs counseling. My situation started out like yours and only
Got worse. Best of luck

Answer

I would do this too. This is not wrong in my opinion. My husband yells sometimes (not at me ever but usually at the dog) and I absolutely cannot handle any yelling at all. I told him I wouldn’t marry him until he figured it out and he did, now we are married.

Answer

It’s good you get counseling before marriage. It will help me learn to express himself without getting angry. My husband is veteran and has ptsd. His anger got worse after marriage. But there was a point he started counseling and things got better.

Answer

I think you need to work through it with him especially if you have children together. Do not give him an untimatum unless you are sure that you will follow through with it.

Answer

Ask him to look into going to counseling. Even if it doesnt work with the first therapist he should keep trying until he finds 1 he clicks with. Its not just about changing for you or your kids. He should want to do it for himself. Its alot to carry anger around with you and not do anything about it.

Answer

I would try counseling. Some people have issues expressing emotions and that’s what it sounds like. He won’t be able to fix it on his own because that’s just how he is, he needs to talk to someone who specializes in that and who can help him change.

Is it wrong?

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