More than likely leaving my boyfriend, as much as I hate to UPDATE
Hes a good man first off,dont get me wrong.
But a while ago I posted about how his ex wife had gone too far by calling me names and demanding money when we had a life crisis hit. And went the proper way about communicating with the judge. And her blowing his phone up well over 120 times after informing him not to contact her unless he had the money in hand to send. Brightside money got sent and shes leaving us alone because alamoney is back on schedule! Yay us! As much as I agree she is probably an addict of some sort, I'm starting to see the infuriating part of reality.
The last week has been nothing but arguements. So bad that I could tell him the grass is green and hed fight me on it, we never had that fight but thata how much weve been fighting. :/
He plays videos games, and hasnt balanced them with me this week, hes gone a week for work them home a week.
Made me promises he cant seem to keep, and no hard ones just simple like ohh when I get home I'll bring my bags in toss them on the floor and then we can lay down and watch a movie. He got home, I had to go run an errand, a.k.a. doctors appointment get home from that and hes playing games, I tell him I'm home nothing. At 8pm that night he decides to cut the grass and convince me to help clean the ac units. We get done with that and I bring up movie and cuddles, but im.being demanding because I want attention. We fight and i end up going off to pout and fall asleep. Thursday I work so I'm gone all day no big deal but I work again that night. Promised to me when I got home a movie and cuddles until I pass out in his arms. I shower, fix us dinner and after dinner ask about said promise. Only to get yelled at because I need sleep. So again I fall asleep for a couple hours and then wake up. We have a gaint fight about how i feel hes treating me and suddenly I'm in the wrong for voicing how I feel about the relationship being one sided. I'm also told I'm a horrible person because I said I dont think you need to go hang out with your God daughter and her dad if you cant even keep a simple promise to your girlfriend. We fight, he tells me to leave I refuse, end up begging and balling my eyes out we stay together. I leave for a 16 hours shift get home and boom instantly yelled at because I need to sleep and cant go run errands and spend time with him. I end up getting to go because his friend had to mention couples spend time together. Fast forward to Saturday I come home from.work late due to paying bills and hes supposed.to be at a meeting at 6:30 the meetings 45 minutes away
He decided to leave with half an hour before the meeting, were late it's my fault. But when we get home were supposed to watch a movie. The same movie I've been promised all week. Get home, nope video games. Sunday we were supposed to go get up early and head to his aunt's I go to get him up, it never happens so I give up, suddenly I'm the bad guy because I dont want cursed at and were 6 hours late. Once again we get home and he has promised me the same movie hes put off all week and bring it up and get screamed at.
We are now at Monday, same bad mood so bad I'm trying to get him packed for work he wont answer questions so I text him he blocks my number. I bitch and finally after sex he unblocks me. Promises me that well do everything hes put off all week. He goes to his bowling tournament, comes home and once again I get yelled at because his ex he dated a week claims he gave her clumidia, which is impossible because the time frame she's saying ive been living in the house. He then decides it's a good idea to bring up that shes pregnant and why it's not his there had been a chance. I told him, if it had been yours I would have left youd want that kid in your life and you know I cant handle anything like that right now. I lost my daughter her original due dates in the next week. So we fight about how he would have forced me to parent this womans kid and he would have wanted this infant in his life and how bad of a human I am because I couldnt care for a child that hed get full custody of that was another womans. And how my daughter would have been replaced by this baby. That doesnt matter though because her due date is way past the time they had a one night stand.
I'm then a bad person for wanting cuddles and kisses and affection.
Then I'm a disappointment because I'm not 100% on kids.
We finally watched the movie at 3 am. Ended it and I asked him a question. Suddenly I'm telling everyone our business and I'm too clingy and too needy and I ask for too much and all i do is fight. And I need to lay down and go to bed because I don't function on no sleep, we have to be up at 8:30 am. I tell him I'm not tired and suddenly I'm a peice of crap girlfriend because I wont go to bed and I'm needy because I want affection and I'm shitty because we already cuddled and im fighting in his his time. So now here I've sat been told weve fought everyday been told I'm a nightmare and that I neee to stop saying how I feel in the relationship and stop venting to my best friend when something goes wrong and come to my boyfriend about things I feel. Bit I'm not allowed to talk about how I feel. So here I sit after tons of stupidity like the above posting on glow about how I seriously think I need to leave my relationship. Am I in the wrong these broken promises and stuff have been going on for a while now. :/
So I've been reading the comments and taking these thoughts seriously. Well weve had no real contact since me dropping him off. And my day got worse.
Not much was said before we left other than him telling me no more fighting. Okay, we stopped by the gas station he bought me my favorite water and him a red bull. Got to his work place he unloaded his work stuff. We had a conversation about how the car he bought me doesnt have a trunk button. He told me he loved me checked the fluids in the car, made sure it was good for the week then kissed me seven or eight times and wallered on me.
I left to come back home no one's coming so I turn onto the road I'm at the next stop light and next thing I know some lady is yelling at me and taking pictures of my car. I freak out and speed off as soon as I get the opportunity. Stop by my work place drop off paper work, and as im leaving my transmission slips and the car rolls backwards. I slam the break thinking I hit nothing and it turns out I hit the gas thing knocked it clear off. Got yelled at for that because I didnt notice it.
I'm still at the house but the roommates and I have talked and the male roommate of the couple is really pissed, because he said he told my boyfriend that this would happen and my boyfriend swore it wouldn't. He swore that my boyfriend wasnt ready to give me the world like he wanted to and he swore he would drive me away. The roommates honestly pissed because of where this went and how quickly my boyfriend has destroyed the one thing he wanted in life which was someone he could give the world to.
We had a phone call too after he got off shift. And his tune has completely changed. Now be wants me to be all overly cuddly and overly lovey like I am. And all let me Waller you. And want to romantically spend time with you.
He told me that if he wasnt changing who he was for anyone and that I'm not allowed to change who I am. Because the last time I slipped into who I wasnt it tore him apart because I didnt want to cuddle and cling. ( I had an ex break my ribs and I refused to let anyone touch or look at me and I constantly had a bitch attitude according to my boyfriend) He said he wasnt changing who he was either but he needs to accommodate and make sure my needs are met.
Not to sure where it's going or what happening, it honestly feel like words at this point. :/