Is it okay to ask "what are you looking for?" or "where do you see this going?" BEFORE the first date?

Question

I just don't want to waste my time. One of my close friends feels that this question is too forward & my other friend feels the same as me. I want to know upfront as I'm not looking for a quick hook up. Please give me your thoughts or what you would do? Do you think I should wait until the 1st date to ask? Or after? Thank you!

Answer

I think “what are you looking for?” is fine. “Where do you see this going?” seems more serious and like something you may ask when he knows you better. 
I understand not wanting to waste time! I always let guys know up front that I don’t date to “have fun”, I date with intentions of marriage. And if you’re just looking to get some, I’m not your girl. Gotta marry me for that!

Answer

I agree with the previous poster. What are you looking for is perfectly OK but where do you see this going is too aggressive

Answer

No I asked my husband that question plus what his 3 and 5 year plan was.

Answer

Ive always shared with anyone that seemed remotely interested that I dont do hook ups.
I've had sex with 4 people in my life and I also happen to have dated 4 people for a year or longer. 
So I just let them know
Hey it seems fun to go out with you, but im not interested in anything quick if thats what you are looking for, if not im happy to go out with him/her

Answer

Maybe instead of asking those questions, is it better for you to be straightforward about what you’re looking for? Such as after you’ve given him the rundown about yourself, you can say ‘Honestly I’m in a place right now where I think I’m ready for something with more meaning in my next relationship’ 
The sad thing is you won’t know from the first date whether they’re for real even if you do ask them these questions because men have been known to lie about their intentions to get what they want. You will have a better idea by date 3 or 4, do maybe leave the questions till then?

Answer

I think its fine, i ask because most guys just seem to want a hook up

Answer

Not to forward of meeting someone from online dating sites.

Is it okay to ask "what are you looking for?" or "where do you see this going?" BEFORE the first date?

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