Hey guys, what I’m going to talk about is pretty personal. But I also need to know what I went through because I can’t put a label on it. It was sexual abuse but I can’t help but know to what degree

I’ll try and keep it short but also I want to be clear

The other night my boyfriend and I were drinking margaritas and having a great time. We were talking about our future, we both just moved in together and were excited for what the future holds. And I wanna say that he is truly a sweet and sensitive boy I’ve ever met and dated but even the sweetest boys are cable of things you never thought of.

Well I’m gonna fast-forward to when we were in bed. We were both drunk and horny and of course we have sex. I’m more tipsy, we both wanted it and that was fine but, I got more drunk throughout the night and I passed out drunk on my bed, dead asleep.

About 2 hours later, I started to feel a sensation on my nipples and I really thought it was a dream and I remember fluttering my eyes open that it was 1 a.m (we started drinking at 9) and then I pretty much remember just closing my eyes to past out again. Then the next thing I remember is hearing a moaning and then I remember feeling my boyfriend have sex with me but I thought I was still dreaming because everything around me felt so distant and numb and I didn’t move and I remember trying to think about what was going on but everything felt foggy.

It wasn’t until the next morning that I remember waking up and remembering last night and that’s when I knew it wasn’t a dream. My boyfriend had sex with me with while unresponsive and unconscious and I start to cry and freak out.

I went to tell him and he said “ I know what you’re about to say. It’s about last night. I had a dream that we were still in the middle of having sex and when I woke up, I thought that dream was real and that we were in the middle of it. I don’t remember anything more than that. I finally realized what I had done when I went to the bathroom and realized that the condom I had on was already used.”

Well we are still together. I haven’t forgiven him. We had a very long and serious talk and while I’m trying to move on from what happened. I can’t help but think what kind of sexual abuse was this?

Many of you might say that I should break up with him but from the talk we had has made my decision to stay with him but if it happened again it would be the last time.