My reality... Sorry for the long story.

So i met my boyfriend in middle school we werent close but we talked every now and again and i didnt think he was a bad guy i just wasn't ready for a relationship. I moved away for a couple years so he would message me every now and again and when i moved back to my old neighborhood we became close friend for awhile then started dating on june 24th 2016. He was tall, strong, handsome, smart what was not to like. He made me feel amazing in everyway wasnt scared to take pictures of me or scared to have me out in public. Told his family and friends about me i just knew he was the one and we would get married. He moved in with my mom and i and yes we are 17 and 18 at the time and working trying to get out own place but we couldn't stay away from eachother everything was going great until the texting other girls and disappearing for hours started happening i couldnt figure out what i did to deserve it but i loved him and kept forgiving him. On Nov. 2018 my mom got fed up with his bullshit because she heard us arguing and heard me slap him and start crying asking why he slept with a girl in our car he swears he didnt but she knew exactly who he was and what the inside of the car looked like. And said he always left around 4:30 to go home but it was really to come pick me up from work at 5. Im not gonna lie i was hurt but i loved him so much that when she kicked him out i went with him. He asked me too and i just didnt want to lose him and said if i really loved him i would leave with him. We stayed with his mom and it was very had because he left his job right before we got kicked out and my job was closed for a couple months so we didnt have much coming in but he wasn't making the effort to change either. It had only been a couple weeks but still he texted other girls until i threatened to leave and he stopped. I still left for a few days because i was so tired and upset but when i came back it was like a while new him he wasnt on any websites or texting girls or disappearing it was how it should've been the whole time. But on march 1st i was on his phone and thos chick messaged him calling him a dirty bitch so i texted her off my phone and said i saw you texted my boyfriend and id like to know why you called him a dirty bitch since we've been together almost two year's. She responded immediately wanting to talk then saying I've missed so much but i was with him so i told her to call me the next morning. So marach 2nd at 11:30 she calls me and tells me they've had been together for months and he told her i was his roomate and crazy as hell and then all this sudden she was blocked and couldnt talk to him in Nov 2018.... Thats because i blocked her and told him i would leave because i wasnt going through it again but i didnt realise they had been together for 4 months and he was sneaking out to go see her or when i was at work hed be there. And she would see me calling his phone multiple time because he was running late because they were in the middle of fucking or when they first got together how he showed her a video of me sucking his dick because i had been drinking and was "thirsty" for any attention i could get even if it was just sex a couple times with him because we were both single and how often they fucked in our car and he ate her out and probably came home and kissed me after. All the things she said hurt me but i still wanted more proof this time. So i asked for sreenshots she said okay and i didnt get them until after he got off work and im not gonna lie i tried to fight him 3 time he never put his hands on me but i attacked him with everything i had especially the last time because before it was just screenshots of them talking about being together and i told her he said shes still lying so she started sending me screenshots of him talking about how tight she was and how much he wanted her so bad and how good she taste or how he needed to eat her out on the kitchen table again. I just lost it i couldnt get the shit out my head and i just wouldnt let him go i kept hitting and yelling and crying until my friends husband pulled me off and told him to leave. I was so hurt and didnt know what to do but drink. But that didnt help the pain go away i still cried myself to sleep for a fes nights and he still called me and text me to see if i was okay and apologize and it made me miss him him like a dumb ass after hearing/seeing all of that i went back not even a week later i just couldnt let go and thought if i cant be his girlfriend we could atleast still have sex but of course he wanted more than that he wanted a relationship and honestly i did to i just knew it wasnt going to be the same.

March 9 i took a pregnancy test because i literally couldnt control my blatter and it was embarrassing. I never fully pee'd on myself but it was enough to know something wasn't right but the test came back negative so i made a dr. appointment for 2 weeks later i explained my situation and they said they'd take a pregnancy test and what do you know im 4 weeks pregnant. Im not mad about it or disappointed because honestly i was told i wouldnt be able to get pregnant but i did an now im about 11 weeks im so happy and excited. I have so much support on my side its amazing i will love this child with everything i have and what my ex did will never make me look at this baby different. Im so excited to be a mommy in December and my ex says hes excited and wants to be there but we'll see. I honestly feel like ive grown so much in the last 7 weeks i dont feel like im under a spell anymore i feel like i opened my eyes and saw what reality was about to throw at me and i refuse to let my child see me as weak or depressed because their "dad" cant keep his dick in his pants so when he made the mistake of lying again i just told him to get the fuck out. Honestly probably embarrassed him because his parents were there and heard about what he did again but i dont care you hurt me to many times and im not gonna stay with you and be miserable for 19 years because we are having a child. No im not gonna leave him out the childs life if he's really gonna be around but im not gonna let him keep walking over me and he better not try to dissapoint my baby in anyway. I grea uo with that hope of seeing my dad and couldnt so he'll either be there or he wont but i know i can gind someone better to be a father figure.