HELP: In a relationship with a recovering addict....

Hello! I don’t ever post but I’m struggling at the moment and could use some perspective, ESPECIALLY if one of you have ever been in a similar position...

My boyfriend and I have been dating now for a year and half. When we first started seeing each other, he was fresh out of sober-living housing after being in an inpatient-program to help him recover from drug addiction. I know..not smart for either of us to start seeing each other during such a sensitive and critical time; but it is what it is now. This is maybe his fourth attempt at attending a facility and his most successful; however, during the course of our relationship he has relapsed 4 times that I know of. I understand that relapse is so common and part of recovery but I’m at the point where I don’t know how to be supportive anymore without getting angry. I’ve lost patience and am not focusing on my goals anymore. I try taking care of myself and focusing on me and try to trust that he is being responsible for his own recovery but I almost feel resentment for how much pain this has caused. It sounds horrible but I’ve been as supportive and patient as I can without enabling or co-dependent. I’ve read books on addiction, read online forums, and even talked to my therapist about it. I have graduate school next year and have no idea how I will manage that while all of this is going on.

I have been thinking about breaking up so we can both truly focus on ourselves without relying on one another. We are getting side- tracked and distracted from our goals. I also do not trust him because of the lying from his relapses. I feel a sense of guilt and responsibility if I break up with him and he goes back to drugs or his mental health seriously deteriorates, or I feel like there is more I can do to be supportive.

Really stuck here and not sure what to do. I feel like I sound insensitive but I feel like I’m at a dead end. I’ve never known someone struggling with an addiction besides now. Thanks everyone.