Starting over feels like a joke. (Ranting)

I was 14 weeks when I miscarried. I made it through a trimester. And now I’m here staring at these pregnancy tests, squinting and as much as I want a positive it feels like it’s pointless. Starting again. Going through the terror of the first trimester again but knowing that even in second trimester you’re still not completely safe.

I wish I could just start again from where I was. Wish I could be 20 weeks and half way through like I would be now. Im at 8dpo and I can’t help but think that if I’m pregnant this cycle there’s such a long ways to go. Again.