Happy to be free! Long story. Don’t stay

So 8 years ago, I met this man. He was AMAZING! He loved me and he took my daughter in as his own. My family fell for him just as much as I did. He helped me with my daughter and he’d help me with my siblings when my dad and his wife had stuff to do.

He was active duty army, so he would go to work in the early mornings, get off and come straight to my house. Well we ended up getting married! We got our first house and the same day, We found out we were expecting our first together! The excitement was SO real! We couldn’t contain outselves.

A month later, he starts telling me what to do, how to do it, when to do it. Starts accusing me of cheating with the neighbor, whom I NEVER even spoke to! (house had to be spotless, dinner hot and ready, plate made, and I had to have his cloths laid out on the couch, he wouldn’t go to the room to get dressed)

Within 5 months it Got to a point when he found out I was talking to my daughters father, he punched the wall above my head. He avoided my head.

I was in shock! I was pregnant and this man punches a wall right above my head so he wouldn’t punch me in my face!

He broke down, went into our room, I picked my daughter up cause she had woke up from her nap from the sound, walked to our room, open the door, and there he is...sitting with a gun to his head!!! My daughter luckily was only 15 months old so she had NO idea what was happening. I panicked, took her back to her room, put her in her crib, walked back and tried talking to him...

He starts crying, apologizing( I won’t do it again I swear!!!) . Begging me not to leave, mind you I hadn’t even said anything about leaving, yet,

A week later, he’s sitting on the couch, playing his game, I’m making dinner. I get the baby to the table, get her to start eating her food, ask if he’s gonna join us... he starts screaming at me. I said okay whatever then just say no and leave it at that. Mind you he’s not one to calm down after a few minutes. I eat with the baby, get her bathed, lay her down and go back to the living room. Sit on the couch and he wouldn’t acknowledge my existence. I asked why he wouldn’t quit the game to join us at the table, I had just picked up my iPad to get on Facebook and he snatched it out of my hands... next thing I know he’s screaming at me and has the iPad in the mid air... about to hit me in my head WITH my iPad... He claimed to not remember doing it, says he must have blacked out...

I texted my daughters father, I didn’t know what to do. I was so freaked out. Not only had he tried to punch me the week before but now he’s about to hit me in the head with my iPad... he begged and pleaded me to leave. So i contacted my step mom and dad and told them everything that was happening. They immediately came and got us...

Things were good, my daughters father and I started talking again, my son was perfectly healthy, I was living life with a smile on my face and fear in the past!

My exes sgt contacts me, my ex was on suicide watch and they wanted me to come home and help keep an eye on him! I told him no, and I explained why. So they forced him into counseling and put all the blame on his ptsd...

I stayed right where I was but I made an agreement I would talk to him, see him, and consider maybe getting back together if they could prove that he’s getting better... he comes for Easter, he’s “himself” playing with the kids like he did when we first met, gets my daughter on the trampoline with him, bounces her so high she broke her leg, I didn’t put the blame on him and still to this day I’m still iffy on it... but after that we started getting a long, took my daughter to the hospital cause she got watermelon juice in her cast and they wanted us to bring her in to replace the cast, luckily her leg was healed!

I went into labor standing in the er with her, so they sent me upstairs to l&d. We were excited! We’re finally working things out, now our sons coming!

His phone would NOT stop going off, he was asleep and I had this feeling come over me to check his phone... he was sexting a 16 year old!!! Mind you he was 23.! I woke him up and I flipped out! How are you trying to fix stuff with me yet sexting a LITTLE girl while we’re in the hospital having OUR son! It hit the point when it was time to go home he was kicked out of my room and the dr bluntly asked me if I would like for them to keep me a few more days to stay away from him or did I have a safe place to go home to, so I went home to my dads house.

His sgt kept calling me and he kept calling me and I ended up going back, again.

And again... a year later, 2 more kids later, total of 4 kids, we were “happy”. Or so I wanted to think... he would disappear for hours at a time, money would disappear, he wouldn’t acknowledge my existence when he wasn’t in the house, he hadn’t snapped again.

A lot started happening with our apartment we were in to where we had to leave, he ended up snapping and punching the wall above my head again, I just acted like it didn’t happen at this point. We kept going on with life like nothing happened...

We moved in with my mom and her husband, things were good! We were a happy little family being in my moms house, then we got our own house almost a year later...: everything instantly fell apart!

We moved into our house in April? He wouldn’t get off the game, he’d sleep til 4 pm, wake up screaming and hitting the kids, wed start fighting. By June we were coexisting until he could get some money saved up to fix the car so he could leave, our sons birthday is June 7, the very next day, we got into a big fight over him slapping my daughter in the face, my mom knew we were fighting so she came and got the kids, little did she know right before she showed up while the kids were in their rooms playing... he threw a recliner at me! Yes, THREW! Shoved the couch into me, and flipped the glass table at me... I fixed the house up before she got there to where nothing looked wrong, she took the kids and left. He tried starting on me after they left for letting her take “his kids” out of the house so I went on a walk... I couldn’t take it anymore so I called my mom and I broke down. June 10th his butt was on a plane!

Ladies take it from me, “I’ll change”.

“I won’t do it again”

Etc; its ALL a lie. He will! And it’ll only get worse.

Yes, I blame myself each and every single day because I kept going back and falling for the same crap over and over again!!! Saddest part of this entire thing, when we were dating his ex messaged me, warning me, he’s abusive and he’s a cheater, RUN while you can... I ignored her....

4 years later, he hasn’t seen the children once, hasn’t even attempted to. I’m very happily with my daughters father and we are a happy little family! Actually expecting #5 on thanksgiving day!