Haven’t shared with anyone

I’m struggling I love my baby but I’m exhausted I have no help at all. Every time I can’t sleep or my baby throws a tantrum I just want to hurt my self it sounds stupid pathetic and childish but I want to hit my self in the head and I want to just hurt myself in general I’m so frustrated it doesn’t seem to get any better I wish I could cope more but it’s hard when I never get a break barley.

I’m sick of looking fat I’ve lost all my weight but I look like shit my belly is gross I look pregnant still off my c section I’ve got a horrible pouch which I’ll never love and when I’m up on a night feeding him I look down at it and I just hate myself even more, I barely do anything anymore I feel like I can’t justify eating food either