selfish relationship?

Ive been going through so much lately i have lost two of my grandmas and my baby doggy :( And my mom has taken a toll since it was her mom, im truing to be there for her cuz im all she has... but nobodys there for me like only my boyfriend but i feel like im acting selfish with him when it comes to us.. hes going to texas for this interview tomorrow and if he gets it hes gunna move there for a year. I told him i cant cuz i have my own business in cali and i dont want him to go and blah blah and i dont wanna visit him and he doesnt care how i feel (i get it im acting like a child) but i just feel like complete crap likw i need attention?? my life has gone into shambles the past two years. But i dont wanna take it our on him. He knows that too