Please answer

I feel like I can’t control anything. My parents are forcing me to go to religious classes that I hate. I’ve gained 30 pounds since last summer. I can’t stop eating.

Last year I had so much control over my eating I got down to 92lbs. Now I’m 117. Last summer I was able to eat under 300 cal a day with two hours of cardio. Now I can’t stop eating and sit on the fucking couch all day cause I’m constantly tired. I started exercising and had so much energy but suddenly it’s all gone.

My parents are mad at me for never swimming but I can’t bring my self to put on a swimsuit. I can’t even bring myself to look at my own body. Every time I do I have a breakdown and cut myself because it’s the only thing I can control. I can’t tell my parents and I’m tired of having no control. What can I do?