My daughters dad usually gets her on the weekends, but since it’s summer we decided to do week on week off. Well, she doesn’t like going to her dads, never has. Whole drag out fight, screaming, kicking, crying, you name it. Has no problem coming home, will usually call and ask to come home early tbh. I don’t understand it, she has nicer things at his house, better toys, clothes, etc. but she hates it there. Anytime I ask, it’s he’s mean or his GF is. I’ve asked them about this but they don’t know what she’s talking about. I have heard him speak ill to her before but it’s been a while & I don’t want to make any accusations. I know my household is pretty strict, she has chores, she’s disciplined & I don’t allow fits or screaming. So I feel like his house would be more lenient & dinner than mine but she hates it there and loves being with me. My lawyer said not to send her if she makes a huge scene about it, that that’s worse for her, to just document everytime she declines going.

Well, the thing is, I feel like she needs to spend time with her dad. They don’t really have a bond and that breaks my heart for her. But I’ve noticed here lately, when she comes back, her attitude and behavior is aggressive. Screaming bloody murder, kicking and hitting stuff, she’s super sensitive and cries so easily over small things. I’m unsure what to do. I’m debating putting her in counseling, I feel like she may need it. I know she has anxiety about going to her dads house, will always cry her tummy hurts and doesn’t want to go.

She’s 4. She doesn’t behave this way ever and this is abnormal. She acts scared of her dad. Idk what to do. I’m not gonna send her back for a while I think, not until she’s seen a therapist & I’ve talked to her pediatrician about it. Has anyone dealt with this? I have full custody. Idk his GF, she lives with him and my daughter liked her at first. But suddenly stopped one day. Has even been using words like “hate”, we don’t use words like that in my house. I’m a firm believer that positive healthy words create a positive healthy mind and reality. Idk where this is all coming from.

Also, I’ve tried discussing with her dad the schedule and routine at his house so we can match, I feel like that’s healthy for her so it’s not a huge transition every week. He tells me it’s none of my business what happens at his house. Refuses to get her on a schedule...any advice? I’m trying to coparent for her sake, but I’m kinda at my wits end of what to do. - also him and I don’t speak in person or at exchanges because he speaks nastily to me and is aggressive or just flat out refuses to. His GF doesn’t like us talking either. So anytime we talk it has to be through text, I don’t speak about him in front of her ever, that’s her dad and I never want to put her in a situation to pick sides. Though she has cake back telling me they call me crazy. I just laugh and tell her they’re joking because I know it hurts her feelings and idk what else to say. My lawyer said his GF isn’t supposed to be around her, and said we will need to go back to court because of this behavior but I feel like all that makes it harder on my daughter and I don’t want to upset her. She’s smart, she knows when their is tension.