Overwhelmed

I guess since I want to keep my baby I have no Hope's, no dreams, nothing going for myself because if I had any of that I would of got an abortion. This is what I constantly hear from my SO (Significant other) he tells me if it was a white girl she would of got rid of it. Especially telling there parents since hes black. I just am beyond overwhelmed & so tired of constantly hearing this. I'm only 7w&3d & the first thing he told me was to have an abortion. He constantly wishes me to have another miscarriage. He Hope's something happens to my baby. He says he still has hope that my baby is dead & I just dont know it yet. I have a Dr. Appointment next week he's only going because hes hoping it's dead & he just wants to know. He tells me come the 28th the day of appointment let my babys well being be okay he's sleeping in the living room. He will not touch me he will not talk to me. Nothing we are just roommates from there on out. He tells me that he doesn't want a baby with me if it was anybody else he would be fine. He tells I'm going to be a shitty mother because the apple doesn't fall far from the tree meaning my egg donor left me when I was 3 so he assumes I'll do the same. I'm literally dying inside & I fear all the stress I have put on my baby. I wanna leave I mean I could I would just be in hotels constantly because I have no where to really go. I've picked up more hours at work due to the fact I lost my 2nd job. I'm just overwhelmed with no one to talk to about it because no one besides co workers knows I'm pregnant. & I dont need co workers in my personal business. Thank you for letting me get this out I really needed to