🦄 Unicorn Moms 🦄

How???? How do you all do it? Feeling like a failure especially after last night. My 2mos old was so overtired he didn’t sleep or nurse for 5+ hours and cried for hours. All because I was trying to get my 21mos old bathed and put to bed. So he missed his 730pm nap. So he was up till almost midnight. And wouldn’t eat from 630-1130pm. He’s normally asleep and in bed by 10pm. I felt terrible 😕

Back story:

My husband left me in January when I was 6mos pregnant with our 2nd.

I had to have a 2nd Csection in April.

I have an almost 2 year old.

My moms been staying with me while I recover so I had an extra set of hands. (Thank god!!!)

Now I’m trying to figure out how to manage both kids myself for when she leaves to go back home and I don’t know how you people do it?? I seriously feel like I’m failing one of them at all times. I’m either ignoring my daughter cause I have a baby strapped to me or asleep on me. Or I’m ignoring my son and he’s screaming his head off getting overtired by the minute if I’m attending to my daughter. He’s a very fussy baby. He wakes up miserable usually screaming 0-60 in seconds. He’s fussy at the breast. His wake time is about an hour. So he’s either asleep or fussy all day lol. 😩

How?? I read all these things online about people’s schedules. Who are these unicorn moms? I haven’t seen anyone’s schedule that had a time slot for them having a minute to go poop 😂 I didn’t even have time to try to do that today.

1. “I get up and shower while both kids are asleep”. (I’m sleeping still then cause I’ve only slept about 2-3hrs so far by then. So I go back to sleep after I nurse my son and put him back to bed. I’m still exhausted when I get up so I’m trying to get an extra hour or two of sleep till my daughter gets up.)

2. “Oh we all have breakfast together while I’m breastfeeding”. (How? My son is such a terrible nurser still I struggle just nursing him in cross cradle hold on the couch or in the bed. How do you all prep breakfast for your toddler, nurse a baby and feed yourself?? I’m still over here trying to figure out how to get my daughter up and out of bed, dressed and changed when my son needs to nurse too at the same time...let alone tackling breakfast)

3. “Oh now we go run errands or go to the park or go for a walk” (I’m over here with a screaming baby who’s tired and ready for 1st nap already which requires me to rock him to sleep. How do I even think about leaving my house yet? I haven’t even washed my face lol.)

4. “Lunch time is like breakfast 2.0” (Again, how?)

4 (footnote) Let’s not forget both kids have needed like 6 diaper changes already between the two of them. And my daughter wants her snack. And she would like to play and get some attention. Oh and my sons needed like 2 naps by now.

5. “Oh fun it’s nap time! Everyone naps in their beds. And I do things around the house or nap myself”. (NOT!!! Daughter’s nap time is great and easy. Asleep on her own in minutes. Still naps about 2hrs thank god. But that’s about it for naps. Son either naps 2hrs being held which allows me to do nothing else or 30min in his bed...so I choose him napping on me instead of a screaming overtired baby).

6. “Oh, I wear or nurse the baby while I prep dinner. And we all eat together. Or I prep dinner while my husband plays with the kids” (OK well unless dinner prep involves dialing the pizza guy or Chinese place. I made ground beef on the stove yesterday for tacos and it was extremely difficult while wearing a baby. And usually I sit down at the table still wearing him to eat, which isn’t even comfortable. How?? Oh also, I won’t have my lovely husband there to help out while I prep dinner it’s just me...not that I had help anyway, he used to get home from work after 6pm and was never much help).

7. “Bedtime! Everyone gets baths and lotion and we cuddle in bed or on the chair reading my toddler a book while I nurse the baby”. (Again how? Like I said I struggle with just nursing the baby, I can’t imagine doing it sitting next to my daughter. Also, she’s in a sleep sack in a crib. She can’t exactly walk in it and get into bed herself. And like I said. I tried to bathe her, baby screamed for 30min while I did her bath/bed routine and then he was a disaster the rest of the night.)

8. “Then I have me time and go to bed by midnight.” (Ummm if you’re up till 12am and nursing a baby 1-2x in the middle of the night. How the hell are you awake at the butt crack of dawn to start your day? Are you a fully functioning person with 3/4hrs of sleep?? Cause I’m not...)

Side note: I don’t see any mention of maintaining the house in their daily schedule either. What about the trash, the laundry, the dishwasher, bottles that need washed, cats that need fed, litterbox needs cleaned, pay bills, go to the grocery store, clean the house etc. Where do those tasks fit into their perfectly planned day?? I can’t even figure out how/when I can get my daughter out to a playgroup or the zoo or library or anything with a newborn. So seriously if you’re one of these unicorn 🦄 moms, please come forward and teach me your ways. I totally felt like I had my act together with one, now that there’s two, I feel like a complete failure.

And....this doesn’t even include work for working moms. They deserve a medal. I don’t even know how you squeeze that into the day. How do you get up and go to work all day when you don’t even sleep? Something else I have to figure out. I’ve been home from work since having my daughter. I now have to figure out what I’m doing for a job, since my full time working (with benefits) husband left and is divorcing me. The plan was for me to eventually work part time. So eventually I have to add job searching into my day. 😩 Help!!!!! I need tips. I’ve only been doing this 2mos and I feel like it’s only getting harder cause now I’m having anxiety about doing it all on my own. I know I have my mom to help out and I’m lucky for that. But I know I should be capable of doing it myself too.

I need to know what other REAL moms days look like. Especially with 2 under 2. I can’t be the only one struggling. Am I? This is way harder than I thought it would be. Oh also, my daughter has shown interest in the potty now, so throw potty training into the mix lol. Sometimes we spend 20min just sitting on the potty midday 😂