Let me preface this.... I'm a psychiatric rehabilitation counselor. I work full-time. Now if anybody should understand mental health it's me. Problem is that I'm annoyed. I chose to support the family. He's a stay at home dad. He doesn't do anything tho. He stays in bed and sleeps until I come home. The house is falling down, the kids are dirty and hungry, and I'm expected to do everything and when I protest, he gets violent towards me which in turn makes us fight almost every day. He admits he's depressed but refuses to see that its a problem and therefore won't go for help. When I try to talk to him, I'm "treating him like child" which is hard not to do considering he's having temper tantrums like a child. I've suggested getting a job but he's not interested. I've suggested couples therapy but that's a resounding no. I've suggested actual therapy and even said I'd be willing to be his therapist if he's not comfortable with anyone else but that's also a no. Keeping in mind that depression in men can look like impulsive, risky, and dangerous behavior all of which he had a long history of engaging in both before me and while married to me. So now I'm left to deal with me (I'm also diagnosed with my own mental health issues) and me doesn't like him and just wants to tell him to suck it up. How do I fix my attitude when he's clearly suffering and making the rest of us miserable? I can't change him so how do I change me to better deal with him?