Would you let him swim?

Question

Long story short. I have a stepson. (My boyfriend and I aren’t married but I consider him my stepson) he broke a very big rule at his cousins while I was at work and got a hold of a pellet gun FOUR TIMES after being told not to use it and yelled at to put it down. The FIFTH  time he got caught was because he actually shot the gun and broke his cousins TV. He is 10. Going on 11.  His dad works ALL the time (pays the bills) and I never have to ground his son but today I did because this is a huge deal for us especially because my boyfriend plans to get a gun in the house. I told him no video games, no tv, and his door has to be open. For five days since it took 5 times until he ended up shooting the pellet gun off even after being told to put it down. Then I told him if by chance we go to his grandparents house within the 5 days he is not to go swimming and has to watch his cousins swim. (Different cousins) my boyfriend says he is allowed to swim still, I said he shouldn’t be able to because grounded means grounded to me. We have been together 3 years. And I told him I don’t want him thinking being grounded isn’t fully being grounded in our house. Would you let him swim?

Answer

No, but the father should be enforcing the rules. You can think of yourself as a step mother, but you’re not, yet. 
Also, what the actual hell is your SO thinking about getting a gun while he is rarely home and knows his child is irresponsible with weapons??? Bad idea to the max.

Answer

No. He has to learn his actions have consequences. Please if y’all do get a gun keep it locked up where he can’t access it. So many news stories about these babies getting ahold of guns and accidentally killing themselves or others. But, yeah he’d have to sit this one out if it were me.

Answer

Nope I agree with you 100% of the way they need to learn respect and structure of you give in that’s only teaching him his punishments aren’t serious and he can get away with whatever in the future and he should back you up as a parent you aren’t his real mom but you are helping raise him and you won’t be able to discipline him if you guys flip flop on each other you should stand by the calls he makes as much as he should stand by yours you were the first one to respond towards his punishment so it shouldn’t be taken back

Answer

No. And in our house, it would have been a hell of a lot longer than 5 days. We have firearms and a bow in our home and we have zero tolerance for lack of respect or disregard for expectations and safety when it comes to weapons.

Answer

He’s way old enough to know right from wrong. The first time I could see a warning but having to tell him that many times tells me whoever is in charge of him there needs to start enforcing rules better. Your SO better make sure he has the guns locked and the ammo locked separately with the kid having no access whatsoever to being able to open it. Perhaps all three of you would benefit from a safety course or some such thing.

Answer

I think you need to get on the same page about parenting and there should be a very serious discussion about adding a gun to the household.

Answer

I don’t think the swimming is actually important. I think it’s important that punishments you give are supported by dad. You have to be on the same page. If dad takes back a punishment you gave then he’s not going to take you seriously. It sounds like you are the main caregiver so you need to be able to give consequences that will be supported by dad. Then the boy knows you are on the same page and he’s not going to get away with stuff.

Answer

Thank you for all the comments ladies! The gun thing is a very serious topic we are still discussing before it happen. We will be purchasing a safe before we even get the gun because I told him even before this situation that I’m not comfortable with having a gun in the first place . BUT I get his point of view of having one for protection . Yet like I said it’s still only a discussion. And for my stepson yes I am the main caregiver while he is in town we only get him every other Holliday and the whole summer vacation due to his mom moving him out of state. BUT he is a really good kid and he did not get to swim. THANKS AGAIN!

Would you let him swim?

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