Resentful.

I wish I had never had a baby at 19. I wish I hadn’t let my parents talk me out of the abortion. I dont even really wish to have gone through with the adoption, I really just wish I could take this all back. My daughter is almost 3 months old and I guess I love her but I told my parents we couldn’t raise a baby. I knew her father was a deadbeat. I knew his mom would go behind my back and tell my mother I was pregnant because all that fucking woman cared about was getting her “grandbaby”. I’m so resentful. I was in school and about to get a job. My body was skinny and unblemished and I had a life. I had opportunities. I had a kid’s amount of responsibilities and stress. Now it’s all fucked up. I have eyes on me constantly. I wish I could go back in time.