I had my son last Sunday, and he's absolutely perfect. I've done the entire pregnancy alone without even a word from his father, not a single checkup to see if me and the baby were okay. We split when I was 5 weeks pregnant, and our split was quite aggressive. We both said things we shouldn't have, but it's hard breaking up like that.

He drank a lot when we were together, refused to save money, his sister is psychotic, his whole family is just wild and they've all been charged with something at one time or another. He continuously involved his ex in our relationship and she threatened to fight me a lot for some unknown reason, I always assumed they were still seeing each other in secret when we were together.

But anyway, a few days after my son was born, his sister contacted my mom asking for pictures. She blocked her without an answer. Today, my ex tried to call my father and he didn't answer. I've changed numbers since he and I were together and don't have his number or anyone from back then so that's the ONLY means of contact they really have.

I feel terrible I couldn't make things work to give my son a father, and part of me REALLY REALLY wants to try and talk to him about some form of visitation (his name isn't on the birth certificate so as it sits right now, I don't HAVE to do anything if I don't want to). But the other part feels like they haven't tried this whole time to be involved, so why should I try? I have been crying all day looking at this perfect little baby boy, knowing how badly I want him to have a whole family but also knowing how impossible that may be.

Any advice at all on the situation?

Update:

I had my father give my ex my phone number since I no longer have his, and have yet to hear from him. I guess he's not as eager to get ahold of me and his son as much as I thought, though I'm hoping he's just trying to find the right words to say. At least I can say I tried.