Stretch marks and self conscious

I know this sounds so selfish of me because I have a beautiful miracle growing in my body but I seriously could cry.....

I got bad stretch marks on my stomach with my daughter 8 years ago starting around 30 weeks and today I saw new red stretch marks on my belly with this pregnancy. I’m so upset mainly because I’m so early on! I’m only 16+5 and I’ve been using stretch mark lotion everyday!!! There is no telling how bad they’re going to be by 40 weeks!

I’m already so self conscious about the ones I have. I feel so unattractive to my husband with my clothes off even though he always tries to build me up and has never made a negative comment about my body ever.

Honestly I think it’s all because of my verbally abusive EX husband. One of the last hateful things he said to me that I remember before I finally decided my daughter and I weren’t going to live that way anymore was “your titties are saggy and your stomach is nasty” It was his daughter that I carried. I don’t think I will ever forget that.

I know in my mind I should not feel this way or be so upset and don’t get me wrong I would take 10 MILLION stretch marks for our sweet boy that’s on the way. I just hate that I feel so upset about it. I’m going to pray about it but if anyone has any input please share.

Please don’t be judgey or negative or think I’m looking for a pity party. I just needed to get it off my chest.