Regretting military life. I admire you that can do it.
I don't know how families do it, I applaud you sincerely. I regret it for me and my kids tho, every bit of it. I married into the military with my children from a previous marriage. I'm now 7 years in and regret it. My kid's have gotten so bounced around and I'm realizing everything they are missing out on. And me too. We should have stayed home, where we were born and raised and have family, friends and support. My kids will never have life long best friends, a graduation high school group that they'll want to go to reunions for, longevity with established medical community, relationships with family members, the ability to say this is the room/house I grew up in, this teacher I've known since such n such grade, etc. I'm tired of living out of boxes, not ever able to fully unpack to be prepared for the next move, having no friends for myself, no community or consistent support group, losing family relationships due to distance, not being able to buy things for my house knowing it isn't permanent, and not able to make long term plans at all. I'm ready to tell my husband I'm moving back home at the next pcs. We can visit each other etc. Has anyone else done this? I've expressed to some people this and they are telling me how wrong and awful I am. Every year I get told it'll get better, new services are coming, you'll fit in eventually etc. Meanwhile more services are taken away, more people move more frequently etc. The last 2 positions we've been with where my husband was deployed didn't even have an frg group anymore. I'm depressed and my kids don't even want to make friends anymore even if they could. They keep telling me what's the point. No one ever stays in touch, none ever respond back to them after moves. I've experienced the same with adults no matter how much I reach out. And the financial toll feels crazy. We can never invest or get ahead. Needing to express but also seriously, has anyone else just decided to be home, true home to make a home, while the spouse does their career?
To answer questions, he's been in 12 yrs. I firmly believe that he needs to stay in and retire military for long term benefits and security. He's also quite a bit younger than I. I had to quit my previous job to follow but with kids and daycare costs, work is pointless for me and would actually cost us money.