Overweight and pregnant

When I got pregnant 4 years ago with my son I was a healthy weight. After he was born I hung onto about 10 pounds, then rapidly lost and regained 40 due to undiagnosed thyroid disease. The whole experience was jarring and left me feeling out of control. All my attempts at weight loss were unsuccessful and I don't feel like I have a healthy relationship with food. I'm currently 7 weeks pregnant with a surprise baby and 35 pounds overweight. I'm so scared I'll never be "normal" again or I'll gain too much. I'm so grateful to be pregnant I just hate not feeling my best. I don't know if I'm looking for advice or empathy but thanks for reading!