gender???

Question

i’m really confused about my gender and have been for a while. i’m vaguely ok with but don’t love being called a girl but don’t know if nonbinary or male or something along those lines would work. can some trans guys and nb ppl tell me how it feels to help me out and give me some insight?
thank you!

Answer

Hi, I'm nonbinary, but I'm pretty ok with all pronouns, it does make things easier. 
I've always felt I had a male or non-gendered voice in my head, I don't "feel female" but to be honest, I have literally no idea what that means. What does it mean to be female? I just am.
I also had a desire to have a penis since I was a young child, and don't feel that comfortable with my genitals, but I am not bothered enough to ever change any of these things. 
I don't like being called girl, in any context- but call myself female, lady, woman, just to avoid any difficulties with other people, and I don't mind "being a woman" even though I think I'm nonbinary or perhaps genderqueer.
I was afraid for a short while I was trans, and I'm very supportive of trans people, but the thought of that being me was terrifying. People who transition are very brave, people who defy gender norms are brave.
I think, by virtue of my personality, my body doesn't feel like me and never will. And I am able to accept it.
 I'm very feminine in presentation, and I love that, but I'm not fully female. To draw attention to it seems like it would confuse people and make me uncomfortable. 
So I only talk about it with a few trusted individuals. 
Part of me doesn't want to "make a big deal" of gender, but I'm also interested in how complex gender is. 
We live in a really interesting time where we are calling the binary into question and people are exploring gender openly. It's pretty rad.
My trans friend used to say im like a gay man in a womans body. I feel that's somewhat apt. But if I was male I'd still want makeup & glitter.

gender???

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