So damn painful


Ever since school started after a 1 month holiday, I've never been smiling that much or is my usual self in school, many teachers kept asking me is there's something wrong and I know explaining to them is tiring so I just said no. The past few days I've been really depressed and I think I've never been this depress before, I don't cut when I'm depress just sometimes when I really feel hopeless and useless, all I do is just cry and cry. The cause of my depression used to be my family fiancial issues but now it's because I'm lonely. I do have friends to eat with and all but I know they aren't really my friends. One of them hates me and she tries to steal my other friends from me when she's alone and I always ended up being alone after that. I wish life was easier, I'm so damn tired, I just want to swallow all of the sleeping pills and never wake up. 15 year old dealing with this is too much.