I was sexually harassed for 7 months by a guy in one of my classes. It increased as the time went by because I was so scared to do anything. I suffer from major depression and anxiety and was in a very bad place when the harassment was happening so at about 3 months in I was numb and just gave up and actually tried committing suicide 5 times. Some things that he would do to me would be pushing me against the wall. He would pin me down to the table and grind on me. Sometimes he would corner me and he also would pull me against him and run his hand all over my body. Even tho i was pretty much numb to it I would still try to push him off and say stop. I was 15 when this happened. And now I’m 16 half way to 17. I feel so stupid because I’m still not completely over it. I’m currently in a relationship with my boyfriend of almost 4 months. He knows about this and I told him that I want to wait to even do anything and I told him sometimes I get flashbacks and it feels like I’m reliving it. He completely understands and surprisingly I’ve gotten comfortable with him faster then I thought and I’m happy with him. Now we do sexual things but he always asks before he does anything (because of my flashbacks) There was a time when we were hanging out and he hugged me and just laid with his head on my chest and slowly but his arm across my stomach and looked at me while I put my arm over his arm. He asked me if he could lift my shirt up and touch my stomach and ladies so I said yes that I was ok with it so he did and he just rested his hand on one of my boobs and we started falling asleep then I felt him move his hand back to my stomach like before, but the feeling of his hand moving down instantly reminded me of the guy and I started freaking out and pushed my boyfriend off and he kept apologizing and said he didn’t mean to do anything wrong. Which he didn’t. He didn’t do anything wrong and after I calmed down I felt bad because I freaked out on him and I felt stupid because of the fact that I keep having flashbacks and still freak out. I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend always asks to touch me and I either tell him yes or no. And he’s completely ok with that as long as I’m ok. Which I am but then I have flashbacks and start remembering and feel stupid. I don’t know what to do at all and I don’t want to feel that way