Oh y’all get ready for this shit show Im about to present to y’all 🙃

Some of y’all might now a little bit about my ex husband & I and his new wife. I’ll cut to the chase for the ones that don’t know and just basically say

- we’ve always had a really good coparenting relationship, my ex & I. He met this girl, married her after 3 months, has allowed her to harass me, interfere in his relationship with our child, etc. She’s barely 18, doesn’t have kids, etc. We’ve had a ton of issues from her telling my 4 year old I’m crazy, telling my daughter I’m not her mom and that she is, posting pics of my child on social media claiming she’s her child, blowing my phone up at 1 am because the state went after my ex for the child support her owes and now “she can’t afford the payment for the new car he got her and I should be considerate and not a gold digger because a child really isn’t that expensive” 🙄 the list goes on and on.

Well like I said, because of this behavior from her I’ve documented everything and handed it to my attorney. He stated I’m in rights at primary custodian and that I don’t have to allow her around since she’s jeopardizing my child’s health and daily living. Told me to block her, only have contact with my ex. Problem is, my ex chooses her over our daughter and won’t communicate with me at all.

I asked him July 11th if he wanted to take our daughter a night early for visitation. Im a nurse and had been scheduled for a later shift & would be unable to meet him & court ordered time the next day. This would allow him more time with her & solve the issue drama free. He informed me it’s not his weekend and he would not take her. I realized it was the 2nd weekend, not 3rd (he gets her 1st, 3rd and 4th), apologized for the confusion and told him that she’d be happy to see him next weekend on his visitation time. It was an adult, friendly drama free conversation. Nothing more to it.

An hour later an unknown number messaged me. It was his wife messaging me from someone else’s phone (I have her blocked as my attorney advised) and she’s saying

“I will be in *MY TOWN* with a few of my guy friends *INSERT GUY FRIENDS NAMES* and am more than happy to pick her up if you’re unable to care for her”

Ummm, what? I never said I was unable to care for her, so why would she say that? Why are you messaging me from a different number, or at all, especially when I’ve already discussed the matter with my child’s father? And I don’t care what she does with her personal life, but why would you bring random men around my daughter?

I simply responded “Only *EX* is allowed to pick up *DAUGHTER*. *DAUGHTER* also isn’t to be around random people I’ve not approved of or met. These are rules per our court order. I’ve already discussed with *EX* that I got weekends mixed up but thank you.”

Her response “😂👋🏻”

I then texted my ex and sent a screenshot of her messages and simply said

“Once again, I’m going to ask that your wife not contact me unless it concerns our daughter. Shes been made aware numerous times to not have contact with me due to her behavior. I also have expressed concern about her being around our child because of her behaviors and actions. I would like to mention as well that I understand she’s your wife & yalls marriage is yalls business nor am I concerned with what y’all do, but as for our 4 year old, I do not feel it’s appropriate that our daughter be witness to her father’s wife run around with other men, friends or not. Especially men you and I do not know and one she has history with. What you allow in your marriage is your business but what our child is subjected to is mine and I feel this is really inappropriate and I’d like to discuss it further with you.”

I also sent my attorney screenshots of all our messages and he agreed this was an appropriate response and said he felt the judge would not agree with these actions either.

He read the message a few hours later and then blocked me. He blocked me from his phone, from social media, etc. This is very concerning to me as now I can not get ahold of him if there was an emergency with our child, can’t contact him regarding her medical or educational (she does attend a private all year long school) or any other matter concerning our child. I’m also expecting a baby anyday now and if I was to go into labor I would have no way to contact him to follow our court order and offer him first dibs.

I called my parents because they usually tend to let me know when I’m being dramatic and being spiteful, they’ve sided with him numerous time in the past when they felt I was being unfair so I know I will always get an honest opinion from them. When I discussed it with them they agreed they felt my daughter witnessing that is inappropriate and damaging. They know I don’t allow random people or men around my children, I want to raise my daughters and son to be strong and independent without being subjected to unstable and toxic lifestyle I was subjected to as a child. Her father has always agreed with these views as well and even when we were married, this was a huge rule in our marriage, so I’m shocked this is happening. But mostly, I’m shocked he’s allowing the Behavior around our little girl.

So now that I’m blocked and can’t get ahold of him, I assume she won’t be going to visitation tomorrow and my parents said even if he does try and reach out they feel I should discuss with my attorney what’s going on and not send her to her dads until a judge is able to review the case.

To add our explanation for why the men is such an issue:

I was sexually abused as a child by a trusted adult and so now our worst fear is that this will happen again to one of the grandchildren. So my parents & I are very vocal with each other about red flags and we feel like allowing random men around my daughter puts her at risk. Hints why I’m very strict about who’s around my kids. I have very strict rules EVERYONE in my family has to abide by;

I do background checks on everyone.

No one is allowed alone with my children, not even family. Obviously my parents are but that’s about it, I trust no one. I don’t think anyone I know and love would but better safe than sorry.

My children aren’t allowed to stay the night with anyone except in cases of emergency (surgeries, etc) and I must be informed of all places they are taken to, baths or showers are not allowed without my permission, and only certain adults are allowed to change diapers. Of course when my children become older and can communicate better then they will be more than welcome to stay with friends and family and have sleepovers but until then, it’s not happening.

feel free to comment and leave your opinion or ask questions. I hope I don’t sound bitter or crazy. But My kids are my life and I can’t allow anything to happen to them. Also to mention, this is the first girlfriend I’ve ever had an issue with. He had one girlfriend I just loved, she coparented so well and was allowed to pick my child up and drop her off, but sadly they separated after she came to me about an incident at his house she found concerning (he can be abusive and mean). She cared for my daughter and I absolutely adored this woman as did my child.