Am I selfish?

Innocencia

I'm 21 and my boyfriend is 29 we've been together for 6 yrs, he tells me that he'd kill himself if I live him, I'm a student nurse and he's never worked in this years we've been together.

I love him alot and he's the best thing that's ever happened to me, I love that he takes care of me when I'm sick, puts me to bed, make food for me and Brags to all his friends that I'm his wife 😊 he makes me happy.

I receive monthly stipend and struggle as it as, he constantly tells me he doesn't not have any money, I worry about him alot.

We do our practicals in different towns, this week I've travelled to a different town to do my practicals he came to visit me.since Sunday and had just left

This whole time he's been here I've taken care of buying him anything he wants and making sure he's comfortable, brought take aways 3 times. Mind you we are not allowed to let anyone stay in our rooms if they not students.

We are opposites of each other he likes to do things that I don't like l, I'm a neat freak and he just doesn't care he lives his trousers anywhere and walks around the room with only his socks on and hops directly into bed without taking them off OMG I think I'm gonna go crazy......!! we spend most of our time together disagreeing than being happy.

Everytime we talk about our future together he always says he wants to marry me and have kids, he's been pressurising me into getting pregnant for a year now. He always says he wants to live a simple life at our home town and spend the rest of his life there

BUT

I want more, I want my kids to have a better life than I did, I wanna live somewhere far away and I want a husband who's gonna love me for who I am and accept my decisions

I don't think this relationship has a future.. Please help...

Am I selfish? Do I deserve him? Any advice is welcomed