I’m very hesitant to post this on here because I know people will misunderstand this situation. I’m not an idiot. I know when something is wrong.

The closest my fiancé has gotten to a relationship before me was a girl who led him on and a girl who used him. So when we started dating, he was so happy but didn’t really know what he was doing. In our relationship, we give each other a lot of crap and will playfully tell each other to stop so I can see where his confusion came from here.

As most people do, sometimes I like things, sometimes I don’t. But when I would tell him no meaning I didn’t like something, he would keep doing it. It took me having to say no/stop multiple times or pushing him off of me to stop. He was also calling me hot or sexy a LOT and it was starting to make me uncomfortable. I kept not saying anything about it and I don’t even have a reason for that. The other day I just had enough and instead of waiting for him to get home I messaged him while he was at work and just told him this is an issue and it needs to stop because I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. He apologized profusely and when I got home later that day after he had gotten back from work he just came up to me and hugged me and started sobbing because he felt so bad about what he did.

We sat down and talked about why he wasn’t listening and it turns out that he was trying to hurt me in any way, he was just trying so show that he loves me. I explained that that’s not really making me feel loved, so we talked about better ways to show love to each other. Ever since then he has been super careful about what he does and keeps checking to make sure I like what he’s doing and if I don’t he asks what he can do to be better. I did tell him that I’m probably not going to be super comfortable with sex for a little bit and he completely understood that and hasn’t tried to pressure me in the slightest.

I’m really glad that I found a guy who is willing to admit his mistakes and fix them. I know I should have brought it up sooner but I’m a way I’m glad I didn’t because I don’t think we would have actually talked about what is okay and what isn’t.

So this is proof that not all issues with consent end badly. I’m confident that he won’t do it again because he does love and respect me and knows what will happen if he keeps doing it.