This is just because I feel the need to send this into the world. I can't send it to her, so this is the next best thing

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Eden, my love; I wish you weren't so far away. I can only imagine how you would be. Would your smile be like Aspen's? Would you have the raspy voice? Who would crawl first? I can only imagine that you two would be identical. You shared a home for 7 short weeks. I am so sorry that you couldn't stay with us. I wanted to hold you both. I wanted you to both make it.

Eden, the peaceful garden. Your name means pleasure or joy. You will never know pain, you will always be at peace. Eden, which holds all things perfect, holds you. I will meet you there one day. I pray that you are waiting for me. I pray that the years it takes for me to finally hold you go by quickly for you. These long years for me are nothing compared to the eternity of us being together.

I hope that your family is holding you in their arms for me. I know that Granny is probably overjoyed with getting to have you in heaven with her. I hope Papa is giving you balloons like he used to do for me.

You will forever be my angel, Eden Rain. I will hold you in my heart until the end of time. My little love, you mean so much to me. I'm sorry that I never got to see your face. I'm sorry that you didn't make it. I long to be able to feel your kicks. I wish that I could've. I only have one ultrasound to remember you by, and you were barely there by then. Sometimes I blame myself. There are so many "what ifs" and "if onlys". If only I had gone to the doctor earlier? What if they would've found you sooner? Could they have saved you? I wish I could just hear your heartbeat again. I just want to hear your hearts beat together one more time.

Please don't forget about me. Don't forget about Aspen. Don't forget about Daddy. Raindrop, I love you so very much. There will be sunshine again.

Love, Mommy