Home wrecker mentality

I’m having a hard time getting over an incident that happened a long time ago and I need some perspective because understanding this type of mentality will help me empathize/understand and hopefully FINALLY move on!!

My husband was working as a bartender at a restaurant in Las Vegas. One day I went in for brunch with our daughter and my gay best friend just so say hello and grab a bite.

One of his female coworkers came over to us repeatedly and kept making “oh she’s so cute” remarks about our daughter and even gave me her number to help me get a job at another location because at the time I was a stay at home mom and wanted to work.

Maybe 9 months later, after she had been fired, I found out that she had been flirting with my man ever since the day I went into their job. And by flirting I mean she was saying things like “you’ve got the kind of face I’d love to sit on” and going out of her way to get his phone number from other coworkers so she could text him. My husband ate that shit right up, and even though they both claim to have never hooked up, the things that they said to each other were enough to make any woman furious.

It took a lot of work, therapy and drama for me to finally forgive my husband after he told me the full truth (whilst also lying a lot along the way). I still carry some resentment towards him and bring it up when I’m really angry, which isn’t healthy.

But the hardest to forgive has been her because she has shown no remorse AT ALL. I was very kind to her and she chose to break girl code for apparently no reason. When I asked her about it she said it was just “work place debauchery” and I needed to leave her out of the drama because she had moved on to a new relationship and didn’t want this affecting her new relationship. She also said that her flirtatious remarks weren’t meant to be disrespectful (ok!)

If any girl out there has done what she did, I will not judge you, but please help me understand why a woman would go out of her way to try to break up a family. What is the thrill in it and how is it that this can be done without feeling any remorse? She is a seemingly confident woman who can get a man on her own, so why go for a married man with a child? If she was a little more approachable I would have loved to have a conversation with her, but she wants nothing to do with the situation, so I’m left making up answers in my head. Someone please help me understand this type of homewrecker mentality and why anyone would try to break up a happy family just for fun?