So I’m 8w5d today and this morning I was texting my child’s father and expressed my concerns about being a first time mom and the fact that I was scared and his reply back was “you chose this lifestyle”

Afterwards I asked him why he would say something like that to me like he didn’t want me to keep the baby and he replied and said he didn’t give me a definite yes or no on whether or not to keep it even though when I first sent him my positive test at the beginning of July and asked him what are we going to do he said “have a child” and proceeded to talk about gender reveal ideas and everything.

Now he’s telling me he doesn’t care what decision I make, but I don’t want to have his baby and he didn’t want it from the beginning because only I would be responsible for it’s care afterwards and I’ll have to be the one to explain to my child why their father isn’t around and convince them that he still loves them even though he may not actually feel that way.

I’m just torn between whether or not to keep it now because I really don’t want to be a single mother and do everything by myself when I’m already struggling with my mental state and establishing myself as an adult now. Plus I’m only 21 and haven’t gotten to really experience life yet. I only have about a week and half to decide what I want to do now. My birthday is coming up in 2 weeks and possibly having to schedule and/or prep for an abortion wasn’t my ideal plan for my birthday.