I have three handsome boys but my oldest is from a previous relationship. His father has been on child support since he was born because when I first had him I had to put him on the state health insurance. My insurance I had through work was way too expensive to add my son on and the state says that whomever has affordable health insurance first is to add him on and take him off of the states. Well that never happened for either of us until I married my husband.

So fast forward to 2015; my husband and I married and my husband added him to our family health insurance. In the meantime my sons father supposedly has a decent job working with his gf who’s family owns a funeral home (his mom posts it on Facebook how proud of him she is 🙄), so I don’t believe he‘s struggling by any means. Btw our case has never been revisited when he started a new job but he is still paying $159 a month for child support. He never buys our son anything, if he has I don’t see it. My son always comes home in too small hand me down clothes (mind you he always goes over wearing nice brand new stuff from our house). So this year he calls me and tells me how the fees to pay the child support are killing him and he would rather just work something out between us. I explain to him that my husband and I have a college fund set up for him and we alone have saved him 10k in the past 4 years; so the money that he gives me would go straight into his account he says okay cool. I talk the proposition over with my husband and he’s like it’s up to you just make sure if it doesn’t work you’re not screwing your self and your son.

I gave him a chance, it’s now August, he asked me back in February/March to stop the child support and he has paid me once. The last couple times I have seen him he’s told me I will get you a check when I see you next time at pickup. Well of course he gave me nothing the last time I seen him and my husband is like just call them on Monday and put him back on child support.

I am trying to keep the peace between us because I don’t have time for the drama so my question is how would you approach this situation? What would you say to him?

The thing that makes me the most angry is that he literally helps with nothing - no [school] clothes, shoes, he won’t even take him to get him a haircut! He is screwing his own son over.