I need to rant

I would just like to recall a fond memory I have.

So this guy and I met on a school trip.(I didn’t have classes with him so I didn’t know him) and we kinda talked a bit and I caught feeling obviously. And then after the trip I realized that we did stage crew for our school play. And I was like “fuck yeah”. So we started to really hit it off (we both new he had a girlfriend but still I flirted and still he accepted it) I’m ngl things got inappropriate between us behind the scenes...considering he had a girlfriend. Hand holding, long hugs, he’d come up and hug me from behind. I felt really shitty about it. But like what the fuck. I didn’t stop it. For some stupid reason we literally wouldn’t acknowledge the fact that we liked each other. We’d always tell people that we were friends when they asked (which they did a lot) and he’d be like “no! I have a girlfriend” and I’d be like “no we’re friends!” Which was stupid since we hardly knew each other. And then this one time we were talking back stage and I was like “uh it’s....pretty obvious I like you...” really awkwardly since I’d never told anyone that I’d liked them before. And I just turned red and was like “like really obvious” and for some reason this whole time I’d blocked it out of my brain that he obviously liked me too. Like I just wouldn’t accept it. So when he said “yeah haha. But it’s pretty obvious that I like you too” I kinda died inside. That was the first time anyone had ever liked me back so I just turned bright red and he put an arm around me and we walked back onstage. Anyway he broke up with the other the next day and we’ve been dating ever since. I know I know it was shitty of me to peruse him even though he had a girlfriend. But we needed each other. I think I’m probably the only person who really cares about him and gets him since everyone treats him badly since they just don’t get where he’s coming from. But yeah I just wanted to share that memory