I can’t do this

Thinking that I should step away from all the community ttc boards. All of this was so helpful when I first had my mc with my first pregnancy. I didn’t even know that I could get pregnant after trying for 4 yrs and nothing happening. I quit thinking about it for maybe two months and BAM pregnant then 10+3 no heartbeat. I needed support , advice , to know I wasn’t alone, to hear stories of life after mc. Now I’m 10 weeks post mc first full cycle has passed. I was opk crazy and since ovulation day I’ve been poas crazy. I can’t live like this, it literally consumes my thoughts , dreams , EVERYTHING. I ready stories of women who have great success stories then I read women who have horrible stories and it’s hard for me to stay positive and non-obsessive. I’m currently 11dpo last hpt was 9dpo with bfn and then I let my spouse hide all of the hpt. If I’m pregnant it will happen and I’ll find out no matter what. But I can’t keep letting this consume me how I see it do others. I want to live my life . 😔