Scared of being fetishized?

Question

Hey guys so I am an African-American women. I recently started seeing this guy he’s middle eastern and white. I am like a golden brown complexion, he’s kinda pale. This is my first time dating a non black man. So, I noticed he compliments me a lot, which is fine. But he tells me loves my skin and wishes he was tanner. I guess I’m a little afraid of being fetishized but I might be overthinking. What do y’all think am I overthinking? Any other black women that can share their experience with interracial dating?

Answer

That can go either way.  When I started dating SO, his sister told me I meant nothing and he was only seeing me because he has a white girl fetish.  But honestly, there is NOTHING WRONG with having a race preference with who you date.  It doesn’t make it a fetish.  Do I love seeing SO’s dark skin against my fair skin?  Yes.  I find it sexy as hell.  Is it a fetish? Nope, just an attraction.  Just like some guys like blonds and some women prefer tall men.

Answer

I am biracial and my partner has very light skin despite being part Native. He’s always commenting on how pretty my skin is and how he likes how we look together, and I actually did mention it to him and he explained that he wasn’t with me because he liked my skin color, but my complexion is a part of who I am and he loves all of me. It may not be a fetish, it may be that he truly just thinks every part of you is beautiful. I can totally understand the fear though.

Answer

If your guy isn’t just sexualizing you & if you have an actual connection with each other, I wouldn’t consider what you’re describing as a racial fetish. To me a fetish is when someone only wants to have sex with you cause of your skin, regardless of wether y’all connect or not. 
Like I’m Hispanic but often get told I look Filipino/Asian (I d been told I have an ambiguous look) & I’ve literally had guys tell me they love “exotic” looking chicks and sexualized my looks. Like literally have gone on dates with guys who have zero things in common with me but they glorify my browness/“exotic” looks. Or asked if I’m “spicy in bed” cause I’m Hispanic. It was gross. THAT is what I would consider fetishizing a race.

Answer

I’m ALWAYS weary cause I’m half Asian. And I date white men. So it’s 50/50. Some of them have a weird “I only date Asian women” fetish and some in the first Asian they’ve dated. I keep fence up for a long ass time cause that shit is REAL.

Answer

I’m not black so idk how relatable this is but I’m Mexican just one of the paler ones. My baby daddy is middle eastern(Pakistani) he’s not dark dark but like a honeyish tan still a good bit darker than me. I always complimented his skin color. I love his skin color and just everything about him. I’m always telling him how I hope our son takes his color more than mine and looks more like his side of the bloodline. I wouldn’t call a kink or fetish. I’m not saying white or pale ppl are ugly either. But darker skin tones are just prettier sometimes . He honestly could just be admiring your beauty innocently and not in a weird fetish way.

Scared of being fetishized?

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