Edited for those who think a mom should die before her husband lifts a finger to take care of the home he also created It wasn’t my intention to be a stay at home mom
We have five kids. They drive me nuts just as much as I love them. I gave birth to our last child June 15th. I have a lot of medical issues that are preventing me from working a job that will actually pay enough to cover more than the cost of daycare. I have several hernias and I’m finally going to see a rheumatologist about my excruciating joint pain that I’ve been dealing with for years and I’ve been seeing a gastrointestinal doc who wants to see if I have stomach ulcers. I’ve also been falling down a lot lately. The last few weeks I’ve fallen down in the shower once (husband had to help me up), down the stairs three times and just from standing up off a chair I lost my balance.
My husband has picked up extra shifts to help pay for bills and wants. I have started working short 3.5 hour shifts for my mother in law in a diner kitchen two days a week in the evenings.
My husband never gets anything done that I’ve asked of him while I’m at work. I’ve even prepped dinner so he only has to put it in the oven and given the kids showers before I leave for work and yet he leaves the dinner messes for me to get all the time. Doesn’t do easy tasks that take 10 minutes to do that I’ve asked of him that I cant do or I’m not supposed to do because of my weight restrictions. I’ve been trying not to nag him about things but I’ll ask once and wait a week and it’s not done so I’ll then ask everyday.
He’s been getting short with me lately and argumentative. So I’ve been trying to make more money by having a yard sale and selling things online and now I’ve started babysitting for my friend. But yet he is still short with me and argumentative. He takes my tone of voice wrong and thinks I’m yelling at him when I’m not. I don’t think my tone has changed at all but maybe it has unknowingly. Our sex life is near non existent even though I’ve tried to change things up by buying two new toys. We used to have sex 3-5 times a week now we have only had sex three times since I’ve been five weeks post partum which was about a month ago.
I’m finding it harder and harder to keep up with the housework since I’ve started trying to make money any way I can. I felt if I bring some money in then I’ll be relieving some of his stress but it’s just become more stressful for the both of us since. Any tips?
For those of you stating he is taking care of the finances so I should stop complaining. I had saved up $10,000 before I went on maternity leave. Some of that went to paying off two of his credit cards so that we could up our credit and trade in MY car for a van. The rest $5000 was to help pay bills on my maternity leave. We ran out of money because my maternity leave was longer than expected due to the fact that I have FIVE hernias and gastrointestinal issues that both will require surgery. Yet despite this I still babysit for money, orchestrated a massive yard sale (carrying more weight than my doctors say I’m allowed to) and started picking up 7 hours a week at my husbands moms restaurant in a kitchen. I have stated multiple times that I only ask him to clean up after himself and do maybe one thing a week. Yet some of you think that a woman should do EVERYTHING even when she PHYSICALLY CANT because of SERIOUS MEDICAL ISSUES. But thanks for worsening my ppd and ptsd with your hateful mean comments.
Oh also one more thing to add. I told my husband about how I fell again (the fourth time yesterday) and my hip was giving out on me more now and how I might make an appointment soon to see my doctor about why I am falling so much. I had to work the kitchen in the restaurant last night and when I came home I had seen he stepped up last night and cooked his own dinner for himself and the kids, filled out the rest of their school paperwork, and had all the dishes done before I got home and had the kids clean up their rooms. He told me how much he appreciated and loved me and rubbed my neck for a few minutes. Maybe he just doesn’t realize how bad it’s been getting because I have been internalizing it all so I don’t add stress to him.