So he and I have been together for over a year now. When we met he was in a strict and manipulative household and had never tried anything. This wasn’t because the option didn’t arise but because he didn’t want to. In my household on the other hand I can drink and smoke but as long as I do it at home. I used to drink a lot but even after a couple tries I just didn’t like smoking weed. My whole family smokes and I’ve grown up around it my whole life.

Now in the earlier stages of our relationship he expressed to me that he didn’t like that I would drink and smoke with my friends. After he told me that I quit. It didn’t bother me because I could still have fun without it. After a lot of thinking I made the decision that I don’t want weed and aggressive drinking in my life. I was raised taking care of my parents instead of them taking care of me. I don’t want that for my kids.

He now lives with his best friend and they smoke a lot. They will go out and smoke at their friends, sometimes get cross faded, then proceed to drive themselves home. It worries me because I want a future with him but I don’t want someone who smokes. We’ve argued many times about it. I feel like it’s either he stops or we break up. Like there isn’t any in between. I’m just not sure of what to do.

Update: First of all thank you for all comments and I appreciate everything that was said. Second we had a very long talk and he has quit smoking after I explained that if continued I couldn’t be with him.