Divorced... 40 weeks pregnant... Does he have to be there for birth? (Please read before responding)

Question

Good evening everyone!
So I recently divorced. He was a serial cheater and I continued to stay for x, y, and z... at the end of it all I’m glad I finally got the courage to up and leave because it was toxic all around. 
This is our third child... yes, stupid I know. Yes, I should have left long ago... yes I know I know I know. 
But here’s my question:
Can I tell him that I don’t want him there for the birth? 
The reason being that lately he’s been a complete and total ASSHOLE towards me. We have two younger children that aren’t allowed to be there during the birth anyway and we live NOWHERE near family. I rather he just take our daughters with him for the time being and let me give birth in peace without his negative ass energy. Besides, he’s accused me of cheating and even says that the baby isn’t his because why else would I want to divorce him?!? He honestly believes that I divorced him because there’s someone else. Honey, I haven’t BEEN with anyone else for over a decade!!! 
Anyway... what would you ladies do in this situation? He’s been really mean to me lately and hasn’t even been around much to help out with the girls despite having a court-ordered parenting plan. 
At first I wanted him there but as time goes on I feel myself NOT wanting him there just because I want to deliver in peace and in a positive space. 
And yes: I know I should have left a long time ago. When I filed for divorce I didn’t know I was pregnant. We did counseling and everything... I tried everything to save my marriage because I loved him. Even when I filed for divorce I loved him. I left to save myself and my girls from his destructive behavior. Now he blames me for giving up on him... he’s such an asshole lately and it kills me to deal with him.

Accepted Answer

You are at your most vulnerable while giving birth. You are under no obligation whatsoever to have the father of your child there.

Answer

I’m shocked by the amount of people saying yes...you are at the hospital for YOUR medical treatment and baby is basically (most likely) getting a checkup. It doesn’t matter if it’s his child, he’s not entitled to watching you during your medical treatment.

Answer

Honestly, it’s your choice if you want him there. You have every right to tell him no. I wouldn’t want someone there after they cheated multiple times, I rather give birth in piece.

Answer

Does he have to be there absolutely not, especially not in that situation I can completely understand not wanting him there. Does he want to be there for the birth? If yes personally if it was me I would let him (if he wants too) because coparenting can already be hard enough and I wouldn’t want there to be any reason for him to feel not connected to his child and not want to be the best father to the child. I voted no he doesn’t have to be there because ultimately that is your choice.

Answer

It's your choice whether he is there or not. It would be your choice whether he is there or not even if you were still together and married. There is absolutely nothing at all legally or otherwise that can compel a woman to have someone in the labour and delivery room with them that they don't want to have in there.
When a woman is giving birth she is at her most vulnerable and needs someone with her that she can rely on to support her and baby throughout it all. Someone who can make tough choices if necessary.
For those of you saying yes he needs to be in the birthing room - wake up and get a clue will ya?!

Answer

I’d allow him at the hospital if he wants to be there but you don’t have to allow him in the room. But if you need someone to watch your older children yes he can but if he wants to be around for birth there isn’t really anything you can do to stop him being at the hospital.

Answer

That sounds like a great idea, having him watch the other children. Just tell your nurses to not let him in and to call security if he comes.

Answer

I have not so long go left my husband being pregnant too. He keep saying he wants to be at the birth and I have said no. We aren’t on good terms and that will make me uncomfortable being there so I don’t want him around. He didn’t want the baby and now saying he does

Answer

It's your choice. If it was me, I'd birth in peace. He sounds shitty

Answer

You chose to lay down and have more babies with him after you knew he was a cheater , you knew ALL that time and NOW you want to keep him out ? I’m sorry but you should’ve never let him come sleep with you again after knowing he was cheating , then decide now he’s a scumbag.  You knew that way before , you are now punishing the child trying to punish him . I say let him be in the child’s life because you two made that decision to make that baby and now the baby (preferably) needs two parents that are going to give it the best life .

Divorced... 40 weeks pregnant... Does he have to be there for birth? (Please read before responding)

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