I don’t know if I’m happy.

I’m struggling bad right now and I just need someone to vent to.

My SO and I have been together for almost 5 years. We have two beautiful children and I am lucky enough to be a Stay at home Mom. I never thought this day would come but I honestly don’t know if I am happy anymore.

My SO and I have good moments and bad moments just like most couples, but lately it feels like there’s more bad than good. We argue a lot and I am constantly wishing he could just put in more effort when it comes to the house, the kids, and even our lives.

I have to ask him to clean up.

I have to ask him to change a diaper.

I have to beg him to take the time and try to get things done that he keeps putting off (fixing our car, looking into buying a house, etc)

I do all the finances, cleaning, cooking, taking care of the kids, and so much more. But because his job is so mentally demanding he makes me feel bad for asking more from him.

It’s not that I can’t do it all on my own, it’s that I shouldn’t have to put in so much work when he’s capable of doing the same. Yes, he does work hard with his job, but his family means more than that job.

Another thing that really gets to me is that I feel stuck. I don’t know where my life is going to be in the next 10 years because he makes zero effort in talking about these kinds of things. He says he wants a house, a new car, and one day he wants to get married, but he takes the time to sit down and talk about these things. Instead I have to bring them up and hope he’s in the mood to talk about them.

Sometimes I feel like I have a third child and A part of me just wants to get a job and become a single mom just to prove to him that I am serious.

I do love him and I don’t want us to split up. He’s my best friend. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like this relationship is so draining sometimes And in a way I also feel like it’s holding me back.

Am I wrong for feeling like I deserve more? Is this how most relationships are? This is the only real relationship I’ve ever been in and I am so lost.