Depressed

I just don’t know ladies.... has anyone experienced baby blues or post Pardam depression before delivery? I’m at the end of the second trimester and my anxiety and depression are as bad as they were when I was experiencing abuse when I was a teenager. I took off work to try and deal with it to be prepared for if I had post pardam depression and my therapist doesn’t want to pin point why I have where i got it from. I feel like it’s from my child hood and when my grandpa passed away it brought it back to the surface because I was at my deepest depression and anxiety when my grandma passed away and I shoved all my feelings aside and hid it because my abusive parents would say “I’m only asking for help or doing the things I did for attention” so I never dealt with that or grieved my grandma properly. But my therapist said they don’t talk about the past at her practice.... and she’s telling me she thinks I’m ready to go back to work because people with depression still work and that she was pregnant and miserable when she had to take her test to become a therapist and she was able to do it but I feel like she ain’t helping me and it’s getting worse... no suicidal thoughts just feeling sad and crying 97% of the day every day. Is this normal!? My PCP is sending me to a different therapist and a psychiatrist. I’m just scared I’m gonna push my husband away or not bond with my child ...