Feeling emotional

Lately I have not been my happy self. A couple months ago I ended a 2 year relationship with my ex. I ended it because he wasn’t putting any time towards me, he would go to work come home and play games and fall asleep on the couch. I never could do anything to make him happy he wouldn’t go anywhere with me or take me out. So I got tired and broke it off. I felt so good after we broke up, I just wanted to go out and have fun and live life. In the back of my head I’m saying I probably shouldn’t, but I went on a couple dates too. Fast forward to today. I’m in a new relationship with this guy I’ve known from work. And at first it was fun and he was great but now I feel like this isn’t right, I need more time. This guy is nice and sweet but there’s a couple red flags that I’ve noticed. I don’t why I dont know how to be alone. I feel like I’m just riding the wind, letting things happen. I want to be treated a curtain way and I ways end up telling the guy I’m with how I should be treated. And he doesn’t change. They never do. I feel like I need more time to myself and fix myself so that I’ll attract a healthy man. I feel like I’m too messed up rn for anyone good or healthy to even want me. I have so many rooted issues I’ve been learning about myself lately and it’s so overwhelming. Life is so hard. I grew up visiting my mom in the summers in a different state. Now my dad lives out of state and I never see him. He pays for my brother to go fly down there but won’t pay for me. He says it’s because I have a job. Well I can take time off that’s not a problem. But whatever. I feel worthless.