I don't know what to do

Esme • I am just a 20 year old who LOVES being open about intimacy, sex, love, kink, dbsm and any other related subject.

I don't know what to do anymore.

My bf makes me cry more than once a week.

He has tried to change and I have seen it.

But I also think I am just being too anxious and overthinking a lot.

I cry about a lot of stuff tbh.

Simpoe stuff like, let's say he has been out the whole day with a friend and when he gets hoke I wanna talk to him but he just gets on his games.

He takes 20 mins to reply and sometimes doesn't reply at all...

Also, he never willingly says "I love you" I feel like I have to remind him that.

He rarwlt says he misses me.

He doesn't really show much affection.

He only shows affection when he is horny... Which makes me feel at times he is just here for sex.

He knows how it makes me feel so at times he will refuse to have sex with me to not make me feel that way.

But I want to satiesfy him so I end up telling him is okay even rho he feels doubtful.

I just...

I love him so much.

I am his first girlfriend and he has never been shown affection in his live.

He only shows affection when horny or when it has passed a long time without seeing eachother.

But UNI will start and... That will be really hard for me tbh.

We see eachother everyday so hw won't reallt show any affection.

I feel more like a bother to him when I want some affection